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Old 09-17-2015, 05:15 PM   #261
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My wife's a magician.

She can turn anything into an argument.
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A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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Old 09-17-2015, 05:31 PM   #262
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My wife called me an Ignoramus.

I haven't a clue what she means.
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Old 09-17-2015, 05:40 PM   #263
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What do you get if you cross a donkey with a zebra?

My wife debra!
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Old 09-17-2015, 05:40 PM   #264
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My wife knows hundreds of photography jokes.

You can't shutter up.
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Old 09-17-2015, 05:46 PM   #265
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Whenever your wife tells you she's not talking to you.

She's lying.
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Old 09-17-2015, 07:01 PM   #266
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Are you feeling any better?

Go ahead and let it out.

As Barney Fife used to say, "It's therapetic".

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Old 09-17-2015, 07:05 PM   #267
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I can stop anytime. Lol
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Old 09-17-2015, 07:31 PM   #268
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More relationship humor

Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire View Post
I can stop anytime. Lol

No you can't. We won't let you. Keep 'em coming.




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Old 09-17-2015, 08:06 PM   #269
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What does your husband consider a seven-course meal?

A pizza and a six pack.

l
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:11 PM   #270
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My wife and I always compromise; I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:21 PM   #271
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I give up!

Ya'll both need to go to counseling.

TOGETHER!



More like this !
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Old 09-17-2015, 08:45 PM   #272
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It's cheaper with group rates. One last one for tonight:

I upset the wife today when I told her that she wasn't the woman I'd fallen in love with.

The situation was further aggravated when I explained that it was Daphne, the bouncy new 22 year old intern from work.

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Old 09-17-2015, 09:24 PM   #273
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Here's one my wife said to me a few times and still does to this day

She says "you and vegetables don't get along"
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Old 09-18-2015, 02:54 AM   #274
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The only thing stopping me from being happily married is my wife
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Old 09-18-2015, 10:20 AM   #275
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The only thing my wife and I have in common is, we got married on the same day.
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Old 09-18-2015, 10:30 AM   #276
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I'm on my third marriage now, but I guess I've always been a slow learner.
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Old 09-18-2015, 10:31 AM   #277
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The most difficult years of marriage are those following the wedding.
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Old 09-18-2015, 10:31 AM   #278
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There are times when I wish I'd never got married.

AM and PM.
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Old 09-18-2015, 10:33 AM   #279
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My wife and I have finally found we have something in common.

We both wish she was married to George Clooney.
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Old 09-18-2015, 03:48 PM   #280
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"It's wrong, you can't do this, I'm a conscientious objector. " I cried.

"Please Mr Williams, will you let me carry on with your brothers wedding or I'll have to ask you to leave the church, " replied the preacher.
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