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03-24-2023, 12:57 PM
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#2921
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 5,033
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__________________
Al
I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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03-24-2023, 08:11 PM
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#2922
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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Been waiting at the bar for my wife to pick me up for hours now...
How long does it take to have a baby, for petes sake?
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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03-24-2023, 08:13 PM
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#2923
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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My Ex says the main thing that used to hack her off was that I'm always getting ahead of myself.
Well ... actually she's not my Ex yet.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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03-25-2023, 08:30 AM
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#2924
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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My wife texted me and said "While you're at the supermarket, can you pick up a loaf of bread?"
I said "Of course I can. I've lifted heavier than that. "
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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03-29-2023, 10:51 AM
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#2925
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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My wife says she’s leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with poker.
I think she’s bluffing.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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03-30-2023, 10:24 PM
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#2926
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 5,033
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__________________
Al
I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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03-31-2023, 05:59 AM
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#2927
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: At home
Posts: 1,434
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SailorSam20500
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This!
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04-01-2023, 07:34 AM
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#2928
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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They say women are attracted to men with power and money.
There is hope for me yet.
I just paid my electricity bill.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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04-01-2023, 08:17 AM
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#2929
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: x
Posts: 12,423
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...
__________________
Retired Navy
Jake my sidekick (yellow Lab) 10/04 - 05/20
2017 RAM 2500 CC 4X4 Cummins Diesel
2016 Flagstaff 26 FKWS
AF&AM & El Korah Shrine of Idaho
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04-04-2023, 12:25 PM
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#2930
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Director, FROG
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 3,508
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
They say women are attracted to men with power and money.
There is hope for me yet.
I just paid my electricity bill.
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It sounds as if you have power, but you used to have money.
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04-05-2023, 08:32 PM
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#2931
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 5,033
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__________________
Al
I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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04-12-2023, 05:03 AM
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#2932
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2023
Location: Ask the NSA
Posts: 837
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I reached into the truck’s center console storage and accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of her lipstick.
She still isn’t talking to me.
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I told my girlfriend that I thought she’d put too much height in her eyebrows’ arch with her eyebrow pencil.
She looked surprised.
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I get mercilessly trounced playing tennis with my girlfriend — and it concerns me.
According to her, love means nothing.
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I sometimes think my girlfriend is very vain.
She said she could totally see herself working in a mirror factory.
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My girlfriend threatened to walk out on our relationship because of my obsession with playing poker with the boys.
I think she’s bluffing.
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My girlfriend told me “You own too many rifles.”
I told her that she sounds like my ex-girlfriend.
“I didn’t know you had an ex-girlfriend.”
“Not yet.”
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04-12-2023, 05:50 PM
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#2933
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Scoundrel
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Montrose, Colorado
Posts: 2,786
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.....
__________________
2024 Geo Pro 15TB, 400W Solar, 2 Golf Cart batteries
2015 F-150 5.0L V8 XLT Crew Cab, 4x4, Tow Package, 36 gal tank, 3.55 locker, 1891 payload, Integrated Brake Controller, Roadmaster Active Suspension
Wooden Spoon Survivor
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04-13-2023, 03:30 AM
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#2934
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time
But they keep going on about how he can do what he wants in his own living room.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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04-13-2023, 03:38 AM
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#2935
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2023
Location: Ask the NSA
Posts: 837
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SailorSam20500
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This has happened only in movies.
Edit note: the scene was deleted.
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04-15-2023, 02:26 PM
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#2936
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 5,033
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Good advice...
__________________
Al
I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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04-15-2023, 03:04 PM
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#2937
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: x
Posts: 12,423
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...
__________________
Retired Navy
Jake my sidekick (yellow Lab) 10/04 - 05/20
2017 RAM 2500 CC 4X4 Cummins Diesel
2016 Flagstaff 26 FKWS
AF&AM & El Korah Shrine of Idaho
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04-16-2023, 10:16 AM
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#2938
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2023
Location: Ask the NSA
Posts: 837
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaDog
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It’s like the confusion about the words “surprised” and “amazed” — they’re not interchangeable.
Benjamin Franklin was having sex with his chambermaid when his wife walked in on the two of them. “Benjamin Franklin, I am SURPRISED!”
“No,” he said. “You’re amazed: I’M surprised.”
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04-17-2023, 12:22 PM
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#2939
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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"These grapes taste funny, Dear. Did you wash them?"
"Yes. It's probably the soap."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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04-17-2023, 12:25 PM
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#2940
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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Why a young, free, fun-loving man would want to throw all that freedom away to call himself a husband for the sake of one woman is a mystery.
But TWO wives!?
That's a bigamistery.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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