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09-18-2015, 04:01 PM
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#281
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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Should have known our marriage wasn't going to last from the obvious signs during the wedding.
Instead of saying "I do", she said "yeah you'll do".
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-18-2015, 04:04 PM
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#282
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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I was best man at a wedding and I was asked to toast the happy couple.
I knew my flamethrower would come in handy sooner or later.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-18-2015, 08:31 PM
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#283
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
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There are 3 rings to matrimony:
The engagement ring
The wedding ring
The Suffering!
__________________
1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
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09-19-2015, 12:44 AM
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#284
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Forest Grove, Oregon
Posts: 602
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Night Stone
Here's one my wife said to me a few times and still does to this day
She says "you and vegetables don't get along"
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Sorry, wrong quote, it should be
"You and vegetables are not on a first name basis"
__________________
98 Chevy Silverado C3500 crewcab, 454 cu in & 2013 Salem Cruise-Lite 181BHXL
FRF and FROG member
Days camped in 2012 (3), 2013 (3), 2014 (6) Days camped in 2015-18, 0 Days so far
Days camped in 2019, (8)
This Space for Rent
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09-19-2015, 10:16 AM
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#285
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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The main quality I look for in women?
Probably desperation.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-19-2015, 10:18 AM
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#286
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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Women say they like a man who's driven. So I show up at their house in a taxi.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-19-2015, 10:20 AM
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#287
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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I'd never date a woman that's more muscular than I am. Unless, I suppose, she forced me to.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-19-2015, 11:17 AM
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#288
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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My online date said she's very skinny.
Turns out she meant, more skin than a rhino.
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A girl suggested I set up a double date to make our first time out less awkward, I hope she likes my parents.
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A recently divorced friend of mine is looking for love again. Beer bellied, completely bald... I don't like her chances...
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My expectations for dating are a lot like limbo. Every time I lower the bar, I ask myself, "How low can you go?"
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It's so nice to see my ex-girlfriend is finally happy after finding the perfect guy for the fifth time in less than a year.
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Went on a date a couple of months ago. Her dad said he wanted her home by 10.15. I musn't forget, there's only a week to go.
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Romance is dead. All woman want from men now a days is security.
They ask for it the second I approach them.
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Single men in their 40s often have problems finding women at their level of maturity.
That's why they date someone half their age.
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I avoid internet dating sites because they match you up with people who share your interests.
I don't want to go out with a weirdo.
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So I told her I wouldn't go out with her if she was the last person left on earth and she cried.
But how could I? I wouldn't be here
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I've figured out that on a woman's dating profile, where she lists what she wants in a man, is actually all the things she will eventually resent you for...
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On an on line dating website I said that I enjoy cooking, my family and my dog.
Which would have sounded great, had I not forgotten the comma.
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I told this really good looking woman I was an architect even though I work at McDonald's
It's kind of true actually because now I have to design an intricate web of lies to back it up.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-19-2015, 09:30 PM
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#289
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Always Learning
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Four Corners, FL
Posts: 21,890
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Quote:
On an on line dating website I said that I enjoy cooking, my family and my dog.
Which would have sounded great, had I not forgotten the comma.
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I chuckled at that one.
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09-19-2015, 09:53 PM
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#290
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Southern New England
Posts: 862
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
I'm on my third marriage now, but I guess I've always been a slow learner.
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X2. And yes, the first two my dad (and the lawyers liked). Should have listened to mom.
__________________
2017 GMC Yukon
2018 Roo 23 ikss
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09-20-2015, 03:46 PM
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#291
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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I was watching the New Avengers Assemble movie when my wife said, "What super power would you have if you could have any?"
"Invisibility." I replied.
"I'm intrigued." She went on, "What would you do if you were invisible?"
"Sit here and watch the TV in peace." I replied.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-20-2015, 07:33 PM
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#292
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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Even after all these years, my wife can still surprise.
She's showed me she could still do things like when she was a cheerleader and even did the splits.
If she hasn't managed to reach her phone to call an ambulance by the morning, I'll be kind and give her a hand up.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-22-2015, 01:03 AM
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#293
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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"I saw the tallest man I've ever seen in my life this morning." Said my wife.
"Oh yeah!" I replied, "How many feet we talking?"
She said, "Two, the same as me and you."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-22-2015, 01:17 AM
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#294
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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My wife is a travel agent for guilt trips.
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Don't be ashamed of who you are, that's your parents job.
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My Mom is a terrible cook. In our house we pray after we eat.
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My wife left me for being vain and self-centered. Oh well, her loss.
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Why do parents always take their children to the supermarket to smack them?
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If kidnappers ever get your wife, don't take her back until they pay the ransom.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-24-2015, 09:53 PM
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#295
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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Arguing with your wife is like trying to blow out a light bulb..
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-24-2015, 09:55 PM
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#296
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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Sadly, my wife isn't what she once was...
My girlfriend.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-24-2015, 10:09 PM
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#297
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
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Women marry men, hoping they'll change.
Men marry women, hoping they won't.
Unfortunately, neither one gets what they hoped for.
Humorous, but TRUE.
__________________
1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
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09-27-2015, 07:28 AM
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#298
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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My wife has left me because she says I treat her like one of my pets...
She'll be back when she's hungry.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-27-2015, 09:32 PM
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#299
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
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I'm guilty:
__________________
1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
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09-28-2015, 02:38 AM
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#300
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,738
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Me and my wife have conflicting opinions. Mine are right, hers are wrong.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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