Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-21-2015, 01:44 PM   #161
B47
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Keller, Texas
Posts: 5,794
Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire View Post
After the leak of the hacked Ashley Madison adult dating website data I have discovered a long lost identical twin brother I didn't know I had. He even has the same name as me.
Funny - that's happening to a lot of my married friends or so I'm told.
__________________

__________________
B47 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2015, 01:46 PM   #162
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,476
It's my wife's birthday today so I went out earlier in the week and deliberately got her a present that I knew she'd hate.

True to form she opened it, took one look and said, "What would I want with an xbox? I'm going to take this back to the store and ask for a refund."

I can't wait to see her little face when she gets arrested for shoplifting.
__________________

__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2015, 01:51 PM   #163
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,476
On my first day in prison, my cellmate said to me, "If you ever come close to me, I'll skin you. When we're sleeping, you don't touch me. You hear me? Don't ever talk to me, either."

"GREAT!" I thought. "First day in here and I'm already married."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2015, 02:03 PM   #164
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,476
Why do men twist their wedding rings?

They are trying to work out the combination.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2015, 02:05 PM   #165
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,476
My gambling addiction cost me my marriage.

Or, as I like to think of it, won me a divorce.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2015, 02:05 PM   #166
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,476
Tonight a friend asked if he could crash on my couch.

I had to explain to him I was married now and that's where I sleep.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2015, 02:22 PM   #167
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,476
Marriage teaches you loyalty, self-restraint, obedience and control, and develops in you a sense of responsibility, fair play and so many other qualities you wouldn't need if you had just stayed single.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2015, 02:24 PM   #168
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,476
Marriage is like the witness protection program: you get new clothes, you live in the suburbs and you're not allowed to see your friends anymore.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2015, 05:10 PM   #169
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,476
My girlfriend asked, "Do you want to get married?"

I said, "Sure."

She said, "Great, when?"

I said, "Well, like every other guy: when I meet the right girl."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2015, 09:04 AM   #170
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,476
As I walked down the aisle with my daughter a little tear came to my eye.

I wish it was my wife I was giving away.
__________________

__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

« cute joke(s) | - »
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




» Virginia Campgrounds

Reviews provided by




ForestRiverForums.com is not in any way associated with Forest River, Inc. or its associated RV manufacturing divisions.

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:09 AM.