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Old 05-24-2015, 08:40 PM   #11
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Yep, true story.

Look, I may need to clarify somewhat. Just cause I tell jokes like this doesn't mean I'm upset because I'm divorced. I'm upset because I'm not a widower.
I would imagine the feeling is mutual.
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Old 05-24-2015, 08:54 PM   #12
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I would imagine the feeling is mutual.
No need to imagine.
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Old 05-24-2015, 10:02 PM   #13
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Whoa - that kind of talk could get you in trouble some day.
My wife left me because of my obsession with 'Star Wars'.

I said: May divorce be with you.


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Old 05-24-2015, 10:47 PM   #14
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My wife left me because of my obsession with 'Star Wars'.

I said: May divorce be with you.


I think you have drunk too much coffee today.

Or as I said earlier - you have too much spare time on your hands today. The shop must be closed today.
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Old 05-24-2015, 11:03 PM   #15
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I'm upset because I'm not a widower.

Shniiiikkkiiieees.. Dude!! You just made me buck snort a sip of Bushmills black label!!! Suuutinnnngggg!!

That there is funny right there... :roflb lack:
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Old 05-29-2015, 06:21 PM   #16
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I phoned the wife from work.

"Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you, and they're stabbing it?" I asked her.

"No?" she replied, sounding puzzled.

"How about now ...?"
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Old 05-29-2015, 06:38 PM   #17
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I phoned the wife from work.

"Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you, and they're stabbing it?" I asked her.

"No?" she replied, sounding puzzled.

"How about now ...?"
You don't like women - do you?
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Old 05-29-2015, 07:14 PM   #18
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"How about now ...?"
That's a good one I'll have to try and remember that one.
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Old 05-29-2015, 08:29 PM   #19
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You don't like women - do you?
I love women...... with maybe one exception.
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Old 05-29-2015, 08:38 PM   #20
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