A very inebriated man walks into a nightclub and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walks over to her, and places his hand on her knee. Instantly, she jumps up and slaps him silly.
"I'm sorry," the drunk stammers. "I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable creep," screams the woman.
"That's funny," he mutters back. "You sound like her, too."
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.