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Old 09-17-2015, 09:21 PM   #271
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I give up!

Ya'll both need to go to counseling.

TOGETHER!



More like this !
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Old 09-17-2015, 09:45 PM   #272
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It's cheaper with group rates. One last one for tonight:

I upset the wife today when I told her that she wasn't the woman I'd fallen in love with.

The situation was further aggravated when I explained that it was Daphne, the bouncy new 22 year old intern from work.

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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 09-17-2015, 10:24 PM   #273
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Here's one my wife said to me a few times and still does to this day

She says "you and vegetables don't get along"
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Old 09-18-2015, 03:54 AM   #274
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The only thing stopping me from being happily married is my wife
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Old 09-18-2015, 11:20 AM   #275
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The only thing my wife and I have in common is, we got married on the same day.
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Old 09-18-2015, 11:30 AM   #276
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I'm on my third marriage now, but I guess I've always been a slow learner.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 09-18-2015, 11:31 AM   #277
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The most difficult years of marriage are those following the wedding.
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Old 09-18-2015, 11:31 AM   #278
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There are times when I wish I'd never got married.

AM and PM.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 09-18-2015, 11:33 AM   #279
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My wife and I have finally found we have something in common.

We both wish she was married to George Clooney.
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Old 09-18-2015, 04:48 PM   #280
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"It's wrong, you can't do this, I'm a conscientious objector. " I cried.

"Please Mr Williams, will you let me carry on with your brothers wedding or I'll have to ask you to leave the church, " replied the preacher.
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