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06-07-2015, 06:07 PM
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#41
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Somewhat right of center
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 264
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
Always thought the four words I never wanted to hear from my wife were, "I want a divorce".
Turns out it's actually, "What is your password".
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What's in our savings?
__________________
2014 Crusader 260RLD Champagne Touring Edition
2013 Silverado 2500 6.0 HD
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06-07-2015, 06:10 PM
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#42
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Somewhat right of center
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 264
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Quote:
Originally Posted by B47
Yeah - it's good,but I still think this guy has a problem relating to women.  |
I think he has the manual. 
__________________
2014 Crusader 260RLD Champagne Touring Edition
2013 Silverado 2500 6.0 HD
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06-07-2015, 06:17 PM
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#43
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Whereever our Berkshire is Parked!
Posts: 7,082
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OMG that was funny!
__________________
Bob & Anne-Marie [BamaBob & 6 Actual]
| 2017 Berkshire XLT 43A with Ultrasteer Tag | Blue Ox Avail + KarGard II |
| SMI AF-1 Air Brake | 2016 Jeep Cherokee Overland TOAD | Pedego Bikes |
Nights Camped: 2013 - 24 • 2014 - 42 • 2015 - 56 • Jul 2016 - Fulltime •
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06-07-2015, 06:22 PM
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#44
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2014 XLR 27HFS
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Clearwater, FL
Posts: 493
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I kept bumping into my wife in the kitchen while trying to make coffee.
Wife: We need a bigger kitchen.
Fool: Or a smaller wife.
__________________
Dave & Audrey
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06-08-2015, 03:24 PM
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#45
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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My wife often complains that I don't listen to her, and that I am not attentive to her knee's
__________________
 2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-08-2015, 03:56 PM
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#46
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: West Des Moines, IA
Posts: 546
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
My wife stood before me with some items in front of her. Without a word, she emptied a large jar of mayonnaise and proceeded to fill the empty jar with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2" diameter, then asked me if the jar was full. I agreed that it was.
She then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. She shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. My wife then asked me if the jar was now full. I agreed that, yes, it was.
She then poured a bag of sand into the jar with the result that the sand filled up the remaining spaces between the rocks and pebbles.
"Now," said my wife, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your wife who loves you, your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. Your X-box, football, golf, television. If you put the sand or the pebbles first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life.
If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for the things that are truly most important."
I was dumbfounded.
Where was she going to get more mayonnaise from for my sandwich?
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Well, considering the amount of time I spend on the golf course, she should have started with sand from the trap I spend the most time in!! 
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06-10-2015, 08:35 AM
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#47
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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My biggest regret is that my mother didn't live long enough to attend my wedding.
She was the one person who might have stopped it.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-10-2015, 08:36 AM
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#48
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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A new study suggests that if a man relentlessly pursues a resistant woman back from work or the bar, eventually she will warm to him.
I think it's called Stalkhome syndrome.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-10-2015, 08:47 AM
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#49
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobHanke
Well, considering the amount of time I spend on the golf course, she should have started with sand from the trap I spend the most time in!! |
I swore 519 times during my last game of golf.
It was a new coarse record.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-10-2015, 10:28 PM
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#50
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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My wife texted me saying, "CAN YOU PICK ME UP AT WORK? X."
I texted back, "Yes, and there's no need to shout."
She replied, "Sorry, a bus was driving past."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-13-2015, 09:30 AM
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#51
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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I've just joined Match.com.
Because I couldn't think of anything new, I added the same bio that I used to sell my car on Autotrader ...
White - Average condition - Reliable - Cheap - Some body damage.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-13-2015, 09:33 AM
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#52
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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My wife's threatening to leave me even though I've just spent a year, and all our savings, building us a new family home.
Oh well, she knows where the front door is.
Behind the chimney.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-13-2015, 09:40 AM
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#53
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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I'm convinced my wife's trying to poison me by putting laundry detergent in my food.
I've just farted and cleaned my own boxers.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-13-2015, 06:26 PM
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#54
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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When it finally came to our wedding day, my fiancée couldn't go through with it.
I didn't show up.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-16-2015, 08:31 AM
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#55
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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"It's been proven that 9 out of 10 single women who sit at home and have conversations with their cats are mentally disturbed."
My dog's full of useful information like that.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-16-2015, 03:25 PM
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#56
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2014 XLR 27HFS
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Clearwater, FL
Posts: 493
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__________________
Dave & Audrey
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06-16-2015, 03:30 PM
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#57
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2014 XLR 27HFS
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Clearwater, FL
Posts: 493
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Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives wives wild?
A: A $100 bill.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
A: 45 lbs.
__________________
Dave & Audrey
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06-16-2015, 08:46 PM
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#58
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
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The Four Mistakes Men Make:
1. Doing something
2. NOT doing something
3. Thinking of doing something
4. NOT thinking of doing something
__________________
1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
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06-17-2015, 06:35 PM
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#59
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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I ran alongside the train this morning, tearfully waving as it left the platform.
Just so everyone thought that I actually have a girlfriend.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-18-2015, 08:59 AM
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#60
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: WNC
Posts: 560
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A guy stops mid swing on a Tee off, Removes his hat and bows his head as a funeral procession drives by....and then hit a great drive straight to the green. Another guy says "that was an awesome sign of respect"
The man replies" Its the least I could do after 35 years of marriage"
__________________
Retired Paramedic
2020 FSX 280RT
2005 Silverado 1500 Ext cab 5.3 H.O.
2011 HD Road King
Nights camped since 2019.....all of Em...Homes a 2001 Sea Breeze 36' 5 ER
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