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11-09-2015, 09:39 AM
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#621
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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My wife claims that I treat one of our kids unfairly.
"Which one?" I replied, "James Junior, or the girl one?"
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-09-2015, 09:40 AM
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#622
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-09-2015, 01:39 PM
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#623
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Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
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Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
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11-09-2015, 01:44 PM
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#624
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Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
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Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
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11-09-2015, 01:49 PM
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#625
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Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
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If my wife ran the world ,there wouldn’t be any wars… But there wouldn’t be any peace either!
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
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11-09-2015, 04:53 PM
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#626
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
I feel I can go lower.
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And we know you will.
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11-09-2015, 05:23 PM
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#627
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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The inherent downside in a life of pursuing women is the possibility of inadvertently catching one -
Marriage is an investment that pays dividends if you pay interest.
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11-09-2015, 05:50 PM
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#628
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
My ex wrote to me: Can you delete my number? I responded: Who is this?
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
My wife and I had a two-hour fight about whether or not we were fighting.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
My son asked me what it's like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months- I don't like to interrupt her.
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11-09-2015, 08:37 PM
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#629
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Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
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Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, the sockets go with the house.
Q: If marriage is grand what is divorce? A: Ten grand!
Wife: Honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear!' Husband: Kitchen, living room, laundry, dining room..
Husband: You know it's a proven fact that women talk twice as much as men! Wife: That's because we have to repeat everything we tell our husbands! Husband: What?
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
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11-09-2015, 08:48 PM
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#630
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Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
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With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been formed called, "Marriage Anonymous."
Whenever a man feels like getting married, they send over a woman wearing a torn housecoat, with curlers in her hair and cream on her face, and she tries to nag him out of it.
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
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11-10-2015, 09:33 AM
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#631
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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My ex-wife and I have only one thing in common.
We both want my money.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-10-2015, 09:34 AM
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#632
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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Last night, my wife told me I don't take criticism very well.
Ex-wife now.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-10-2015, 09:35 AM
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#633
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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I can't wait to see my wife's face when she comes home to her surprise going away party.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-10-2015, 09:41 AM
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#634
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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When I was a kid, my parents got divorced and held a custody hearing over me.
Nobody showed up.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-10-2015, 09:43 AM
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#635
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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You know your marriage is in trouble when the marriage counselor bursts out crying and begs you to get divorced.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-10-2015, 09:46 AM
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#636
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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I had a fairy tale marriage.
My wife was an ogre with ugly sisters, but now I'm in a land far, far away.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-10-2015, 09:47 AM
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#637
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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Even though we're not together any longer, My ex wife loves my company.
She took it off me when we divorced.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-10-2015, 09:49 AM
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#638
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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My wife says to me, "All good things must come to an end."
I replied, "When did it start?"
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-10-2015, 09:50 AM
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#639
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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My ex wife told me the last thing she wanted to do was hurt me.
Obviously it was still on her list.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-10-2015, 10:05 AM
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#640
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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My wife said she's leaving me because of my excessive drinking.
Ironically, that's what made me propose to her in the first place.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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