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Old 09-30-2015, 09:21 PM   #321
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Hold off on the compliments, as I can top that and maybe take the title with this comeback line that usually always ends the argument with the significant other (and maybe the whole marriage).

When you have all you can take, then you are welcome to use this one as a closer:

"You're fat. I'm not going to sugar coat it or you'll eat that too"
Think we should rename this thread to "wmtire's relationship therapy thread"
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Old 09-30-2015, 09:35 PM   #322
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Think we should rename this thread to "wmtire's relationship therapy thread"
I keep asking if ya want me to stop with the jokes.
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Old 09-30-2015, 10:14 PM   #323
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I keep asking if ya want me to stop with the jokes.

N O O O P P E E ! !


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Old 09-30-2015, 10:22 PM   #324
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I keep asking if ya want me to stop with the jokes.

Your in denial and there's no stopping you joke on

A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death." He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"
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Old 09-30-2015, 10:22 PM   #325
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N O O O P P E E ! !


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X2 - as sick as some of them are and possibly reflect the true you - No.
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Old 09-30-2015, 10:23 PM   #326
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There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home. The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face. He just looks at her and says, ”You don’t scare me I am married to your sister!”
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Old 09-30-2015, 10:31 PM   #327
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I fell in love with my wife at second sight. The first time I didn’t know she had money.
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Old 10-01-2015, 01:24 AM   #328
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As we sat in a restaurant last night, I looked at my blind date and said, "Here are my three children. Jack is the one on the left, he's 7. Charlie is the one in the middle, he's 5. And Daisy is one on the right, she's 3."

"They're adorable." she replied.

"This is my mom & dad," I continued, "And the two with the funny hats on are my brothers."

Suddenly she looked at her watch.

"Sorry," I said, "Am I boring you?"

She said, "No, I was just expecting us to be alone."
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Old 10-01-2015, 01:26 AM   #329
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I was on a blind date with a girl last night. She said, "You seem like a nice guy. How come you're still single?"

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "I suppose my standards are too high."

"Really?" she asked.

"Well," I replied, "Take the girls in this bar for example... Wouldn't date her... Wouldn't date her... Wouldn't date her."

She looked shocked.

I said, "What's wrong? Surprised by my honesty?"

She said, "That, and the fact that you pointed at me... Three times."
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Old 10-01-2015, 11:12 AM   #330
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A nagging wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the bar, so one night he takes her along with him.

"What'll you have?" He asks.

"Oh, I don't know. Same as you I suppose." She replies.

The husband orders a couple of straight whiskies and throws his down in one gulp. His wife watches him, takes a sip from her glass and immediately spits it out.

"Yuck, it's horrible," she splutters. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff."

"Well, there you go," cries the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night."
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