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Old 10-25-2015, 04:42 AM   #501
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ependydad View Post
Stages of a relationship:

1) Dating:
Attachment 92757

2) Proposal:
Attachment 92758

3) Marriage:
Attachment 92759
:roflb lack:
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 10-25-2015, 04:55 AM   #502
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I tried to log on to my computer this morning but it wouldn't let me in.

I shouted to my wife, "Babe, have you changed the password on the PC?"

"Yes honey."

"What is it?"

"It's the date of our anniversary."

s**t.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 10-26-2015, 09:29 AM   #503
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A spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
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Old 10-26-2015, 09:31 AM   #504
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My wife is leaving me because I'm too stupid and I snore a lot,

so I'm staying up tonight to see if she is right.
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Old 10-26-2015, 09:32 AM   #505
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I was watching Beauty and The Beast with my wife, and she said to me :

"If you were a beast, I'd still love you"

I said "Aw that's sweet,

and if you were a beauty , I'd still love you, too."
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Old 10-26-2015, 09:39 AM   #506
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My Wife and I have been together for such a long time that we finish each other's sentences...

by simply adding, "you stupid idiot."
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Old 10-26-2015, 09:42 AM   #507
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I've been trying to teach my friend how to play golf recently but the problem seems to be his drive.

His wife stands in it and doesn't let us leave.
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Old 10-26-2015, 09:45 AM   #508
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I received a blank text from my wife the other day.

When I got in from work I asked "Why did you send me a blank text?"

"Because I'm not talking to you."
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Old 10-26-2015, 09:49 AM   #509
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I said to a buddy, "I bought my wife a pair of diamond earrings last month and she hasn't talked to me since."

"Why not?"

"That was part of the deal."
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Old 10-26-2015, 10:24 AM   #510
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On the cheek.

Now that,s funny. Jim.
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