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Old 06-13-2015, 10:30 AM   #51
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I've just joined Match.com.

Because I couldn't think of anything new, I added the same bio that I used to sell my car on Autotrader ...

White - Average condition - Reliable - Cheap - Some body damage.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-13-2015, 10:33 AM   #52
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My wife's threatening to leave me even though I've just spent a year, and all our savings, building us a new family home.

Oh well, she knows where the front door is.

Behind the chimney.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-13-2015, 10:40 AM   #53
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I'm convinced my wife's trying to poison me by putting laundry detergent in my food.


I've just farted and cleaned my own boxers.
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2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-13-2015, 07:26 PM   #54
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When it finally came to our wedding day, my fiancée couldn't go through with it.


I didn't show up.


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2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-16-2015, 09:31 AM   #55
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"It's been proven that 9 out of 10 single women who sit at home and have conversations with their cats are mentally disturbed."

My dog's full of useful information like that.
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2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-16-2015, 04:25 PM   #56
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Old 06-16-2015, 04:30 PM   #57
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Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives wives wild?
A: A $100 bill.


Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
A: 45 lbs.
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Old 06-16-2015, 09:46 PM   #58
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The Four Mistakes Men Make:

1. Doing something
2. NOT doing something
3. Thinking of doing something
4. NOT thinking of doing something
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Old 06-17-2015, 07:35 PM   #59
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I ran alongside the train this morning, tearfully waving as it left the platform.

Just so everyone thought that I actually have a girlfriend.


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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-18-2015, 09:59 AM   #60
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A guy stops mid swing on a Tee off, Removes his hat and bows his head as a funeral procession drives by....and then hit a great drive straight to the green. Another guy says "that was an awesome sign of respect"
The man replies" Its the least I could do after 35 years of marriage"
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