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01-20-2017, 11:40 AM
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#1361
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
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In preparation for the upcoming holiday:
Valentines Day = One more opportunity to prove that you just don't measure up!
__________________
1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
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01-21-2017, 03:25 AM
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#1362
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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It's impossible to please women.......
........ even at your wedding, you are not the best man
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-22-2017, 08:33 PM
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#1363
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.
“Ha**! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-22-2017, 08:35 PM
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#1364
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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Never keep up with the Joneses.
Drag them down to your level; it’s cheaper.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-22-2017, 08:36 PM
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#1365
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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On the first night of their
honeymoon, the husband isn’t sure how to tell his bride about his stinky feet and smelly socks, while the wife is wondering how to break the news to him about her awful breath, which so far, she’s been able to cover up.
After some soul-searching, the
husband gathers his nerve and says, “I have a confession.”
She draws closer, peers into his eyes, and says, “Darling, so do I.”
Recoiling, he says, “Don’t tell me—you’ve eaten my socks.”
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-22-2017, 08:37 PM
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#1366
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my
advantage. I take that as a compliment.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-22-2017, 08:43 PM
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#1367
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Site Team
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Grayson County, Texas
Posts: 21,473
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.
“Ha**! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
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Oh, yeah?
What did I ever do to you?
__________________
2015 FR Wildcat 295RSX / GMC Sierra
Nights Camped: '13 = 49/'14 = 74/'15 = 74/'16 = 85/'17 = 110/'18 = 111/'19 = 86/'20 =108/'21 = 115/'22 = 135/'23 = 78; Booked for 2024 = 69
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01-22-2017, 08:44 PM
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#1368
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotherapist’s office and declares, “Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday
I broke that trust and had an affair! The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened!”
The hypnotherapist shakes his head. “Not again …”
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-22-2017, 08:47 PM
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#1369
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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Realistic Romantic Comedies
• When Harry Met Sally and
Discovered She Looks Nothing Like Her eHarmony Photos
• Love Handles, Actually
• Runaway Bridal Expenses
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-22-2017, 08:48 PM
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#1370
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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My husband and I couldn’t decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman.
“If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend,” I said, “what would you get?”
“A bulletproof one,” he said. “I’m married.”
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-22-2017, 08:49 PM
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#1371
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-22-2017, 08:51 PM
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#1372
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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Even though there was a blizzard raging outside, I made it the half-mile to the bakery, where I asked the owner for six rolls.
“Your wife must like rolls,” he said.
“How do you know these are for my wife?” I asked.
“Because your mother wouldn’t send you out in weather like this.”
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-22-2017, 08:54 PM
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#1373
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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A soldier in my National Guard platoon became concerned when the Army insisted that he sign up for direct deposit.
"It’s not going to work for me," he said, panicked.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because I use my Guard pay for spending money."
"So?"
"For the past ten years, I’ve been telling my wife that I serve for free!"
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-22-2017, 08:56 PM
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#1374
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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On his birthday, a husband was stuck driving his six rambunctious children around. As usual, they were yelling, punching, and annoying one another. He finally had had enough.
"Kids," he said over dinner, "if you would behave and be kind to each other, that would be a very nice birthday present for me."
The six-year-old shot back: "Too late, I already got you another present."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-25-2017, 08:07 AM
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#1375
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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You know your spouse is a bad driver when the GPS says " In 400 feet stop and let me out."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-25-2017, 08:12 AM
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#1376
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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I wonder if you pressure your child into becoming a drug addicted, alcoholic gang member, ...... if they will disappoint you and become a doctor?
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-26-2017, 01:27 PM
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#1377
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 5,033
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wmtire, after reading thru this thread, I've come to the conclusion that you have a death wish!
__________________
Al
I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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01-26-2017, 01:43 PM
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#1378
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 2,024
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SailorSam20500
wmtire, after reading thru this thread, I've come to the conclusion that you have a death wish!
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I was thinking the same thing myself...
After 32 years of marriage, I cannot think of anything humorous about my relationship,,,,,,
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01-26-2017, 01:48 PM
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#1379
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,695
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SailorSam20500
wmtire, after reading thru this thread, I've come to the conclusion that you have a death wish!
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Does it show? I thought I was concealing it quite well.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-26-2017, 02:21 PM
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#1380
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Boyfriend: "You're both."
Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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