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07-28-2015, 01:28 AM
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#121
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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My wife said she was going to chase her dream of becoming slim.
So far the dream has lapped her three times.
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My wife said she'd like another baby...
...I agreed, the one we have is annoying!
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Looking forward to the kids growing up and getting their own houses so I can do a big job in their toilet and forget to flush it.
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My girlfriend says that I never solve my own problems.
How do I prove her wrong?
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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07-28-2015, 11:15 AM
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#122
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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My wife wears the pants in our relationship.
Because I make her.
Her legs are hideous.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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07-28-2015, 04:20 PM
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#123
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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"Don't look at me like I'm an idiot," said my wife.
It was the last time I ever saw her.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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07-29-2015, 09:20 AM
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#124
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 272
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__________________
Unencumbered By The Thought Process
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07-29-2015, 10:34 AM
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#125
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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I took my son to school for the first time today and was amazed at the amount of moms turning up in 4 x 4's. I thought to myself, they will never use those for off-roading.
Then I saw them trying to park.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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07-29-2015, 11:41 AM
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#126
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 5
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lmfao! great thread!
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07-29-2015, 01:06 PM
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#127
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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Wedding - a funeral where you smell your own flowers.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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07-29-2015, 01:21 PM
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#128
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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Know why the groom cried at his wedding?
I do.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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07-29-2015, 01:30 PM
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#129
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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WARNING to the ladies... When you get married, you don't get a marriage license... you actually get adoption papers for an over grown kid!
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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08-08-2015, 08:39 PM
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#130
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship.
She wants marriage, children and a house.
I just want out.
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I guess our first date went pretty much like most of them do.
After some drinks, she excused herself to go to the bathroom. That was in June.
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A failsafe way to tell if a girl is over 30:
Ask her how old she is.
If she doesn't tell you, she's over 30.
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My wife has kept all her old baby pictures.
She had to, it's hard throwing away a cave painting.
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__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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08-12-2015, 05:43 PM
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#131
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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I left my wife because she was too pushy.
She was giving birth at the time.
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I told my neighbor, "Your dog is driving me crazy!"
"But we don't have a dog..." she replied.
I said, "See what I mean."
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I'm starting to get self-conscious about my body odor. On my last two dates, the woman has sprayed me with perfume before I kissed her goodnight.
Not sure of the brand but it had a distinct sharp, peppery smell.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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08-14-2015, 10:09 AM
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#132
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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My girlfriend called me apathetic and left
I was just about to run after her and ask 'a pathetic what..'
Then I realized I don't care.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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08-14-2015, 06:27 PM
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#133
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
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Are you ignorant, or apathetic?
I don't know and I don't care!
__________________
1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
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08-16-2015, 07:36 PM
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#134
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 813
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Joe, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than you ever knew.. I know it's no excuse, but I don't get it at home.I can't live with the guilt any longer and I hope you'll accept my sincerest apology. It won't happen again."
Feeling outraged and betrayed Joe grabs a suitcase, storms into the bedroom.
He throws his wife's clothes in it and screams at her to get out,their marriage is over.
As she leaves in tears, Joe gets a second text:
"I Really should use spell check!
That should have read "WIFI'."
__________________
Roger & Mary Forbes
WB4FSN
Little Lady (Dog)
2014 F350 / 2015 CC 36 CKTS
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08-17-2015, 08:02 AM
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#135
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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I had another argument with my wife about her weight.
Apparently it wasn't her blocking my phone signal, I had just run out of credit.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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08-18-2015, 01:05 PM
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#136
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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I asked my wife 'if I was a vegetable, what vegetable would I be?'
She replied 'an onion'
I said 'aww that's sweet, because I have many layers?'
She replied 'No, because you're round, you stink, and you make me cry'.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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08-18-2015, 02:59 PM
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#137
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Keller, Texas
Posts: 6,090
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
I asked my wife 'if I was a vegetable, what vegetable would I be?'
She replied 'an onion'
I said 'aww that's sweet, because I have many layers?'
She replied 'No, because you're round, you stink, and you make me cry'.
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Maybe this isn't or shouldn't be called Humor - perhaps she is just telling the truth.
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08-18-2015, 03:48 PM
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#138
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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Quote:
Originally Posted by B47
Maybe this isn't or shouldn't be called Humor - perhaps she is just telling the truth.
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The truth couldn't be printed in a family friendly forum.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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08-18-2015, 05:29 PM
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#139
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,739
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It just dawned on me why Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet.... nobody was married.
Here are the single people that come to mind. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard,
Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, the Darlin family, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara......
In fact, the only one married was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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08-18-2015, 09:02 PM
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#140
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Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
It just dawned on me why Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet.... nobody was married.
Here are the single people that come to mind. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard,
Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, the Darlin family, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara......
In fact, the only one married was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
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Andy the sheriff had no wife wonder what happen to her..jus saying
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
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