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Old 11-19-2015, 05:33 PM   #701
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My neighbor asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my yard.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 11-19-2015, 05:36 PM   #702
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Possibly true story from Turbs:


Ok, so my neighbors officially hate me. Me and a few friends were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were roasting marshmallows and stuff when suddenly we hear sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us. So we all went running to see what was up, and our neighbor's house was on fire!

Well, when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever..

Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....

Talk about bad timing...
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Old 11-19-2015, 05:40 PM   #703
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After years of not speaking to my neighbor thinking he was a bit of a jerk, turns out he's a really a great guy.

He's ran off with my wife.
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Old 11-19-2015, 05:53 PM   #704
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A lot of people seem to forget their other four fingers when waving to me.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 11-19-2015, 05:57 PM   #705
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I was once abducted by aliens. They made me wipe my face, blow my nose and eat my greens.

I think I was on board the mothership.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 11-19-2015, 06:05 PM   #706
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I know I walked away in the middle of our conversation, but I had no choice..

You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 11-19-2015, 07:20 PM   #707
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I know I walked away in the middle of our conversation, but I had no choice..

You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
Too bad I don't have the choice just saying but some of these are really bad sorry for the look
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Old 11-21-2015, 06:26 PM   #708
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My wife told me I was incapable of multitasking....

So I got drunk and embarrassed her at the same time.
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Old 11-21-2015, 06:43 PM   #709
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I took my teenage daughter out shopping today. She was very embarrassed when I picked out a pink t-shirt with "Daddy's little princess" on the front.

But not as embarrassed as she was when I walked out of the shop wearing it.
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Old 11-21-2015, 07:33 PM   #710
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I was once abducted by aliens. They made me wipe my face, blow my nose and eat my greens.

I think I was on board the mothership.
Yea we all know healthy eating does not fit your lifestyle.
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