 |
|
02-11-2017, 12:33 PM
|
#1401
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Southern, IL
Posts: 3,272
|
A husband and wife are shopping in their local store. The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "There're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife.
They carry on with their shopping
A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful." replies the wife. "So does 24 cans of beer and it's half the price."
That's him on aisle 5.
__________________
Bob & Michelle
2016 Ford F-250 Lariat 4x4
2017 Flagstaff Super Lite 526RLWS
|
|
|
|
02-15-2017, 03:10 PM
|
#1402
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
|
Wobbles, I just got back from that same store where I saw a car parked across three spaces.
Now I'm not sexist, so I'm not going to speculate on what gender she was.
__________________
 2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
|
|
|
|
|
02-19-2017, 08:03 PM
|
#1403
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
|
My wife said she was leaving me because I was too arrogant.
I replied "Close the door on your way back in."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
|
|
|
|
|
02-21-2017, 05:22 AM
|
#1404
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
|
My wife has left me because I'm too insecure.
No, wait she's back. She just went to make a cup of tea.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
|
|
|
|
|
02-24-2017, 03:37 PM
|
#1405
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
|
Will someone tell that lazy wife of mine, that I need another beer?
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
|
|
|
|
|
02-24-2017, 03:40 PM
|
#1406
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 7,363
|
[QUOTE=wmtire;1429287]Will someone tell that lazy wife of mine, that I need another beer?[/
I'll pass --
Russell
|
|
|
|
|
02-24-2017, 04:11 PM
|
#1407
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
Will someone tell that lazy wife of mine, that I need another beer?
|
Not me! I wasn't born yesterday! 
__________________
1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
|
|
|
|
|
02-24-2017, 04:25 PM
|
#1408
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Southern, IL
Posts: 3,272
|
I'll do it. No problem, because I don't have to live there. Just one question, do I have to call her lazy? This may make a difference in her reaction time and my speed out to my truck. 
However you sir, will have to take the residual heat after I am gone... 
__________________
Bob & Michelle
2016 Ford F-250 Lariat 4x4
2017 Flagstaff Super Lite 526RLWS
|
|
|
|
|
02-27-2017, 09:12 AM
|
#1409
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
|
I always go the extra mile.
But then the restraining order kind of makes me.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
|
|
|
|
|
03-02-2017, 08:30 PM
|
#1410
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
|
I love playing mind games with my wife.
Today I bought her some flowers and I haven't done anything wrong.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
|
|
|
|
|
03-06-2017, 09:02 PM
|
#1411
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
|
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
|
|
|
|
|
03-06-2017, 09:06 PM
|
#1412
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
|
I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
|
|
|
|
|
03-06-2017, 09:11 PM
|
#1413
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
|
I'm adopted, and I'm glad my parents were at least honest enough to tell me.
But why everyday?
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
|
|
|
|
|
03-06-2017, 09:12 PM
|
#1414
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
|
If you can't say something nice, say it to your husband... he's not listening anyway.
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
|
|
|
|
|
03-06-2017, 09:17 PM
|
#1415
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
|
I typed "married" but it was auto-corrected to "martyred". Damn,smartphone has gained intelligence.
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
|
|
|
|
|
03-07-2017, 02:07 AM
|
#1416
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
|
At a class reunion, one popular fellow was there without his wife. When his classmates asked where she was, he said that she was having a kidney transplant.
Whereupon his classmates kinda scolded him, "If your wife is having a kidney transplant, why in the world are you here?"
And he said, "I'm sorry. She's not HAVING a kidney transplant; when I asked her to accompany me here to see everyone, she said she'd RATHER have a kidney transplant!"
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
|
|
|
|
|
03-07-2017, 08:54 PM
|
#1417
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
|
I've agreed so much with my wife that my head just starts nodding at the sound of her voice.
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
|
|
|
|
|
03-07-2017, 08:55 PM
|
#1418
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
|
The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
|
|
|
|
|
03-07-2017, 08:58 PM
|
#1419
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
|
Why does the bride always wear white? Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
|
|
|
|
|
03-08-2017, 04:20 AM
|
#1420
|
|
Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
|
My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances.
Well, she’s in for a shock.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
» Recent Discussions |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Linear Mode
