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Old 05-27-2017, 09:36 PM   #1501
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I WEAR THE PANTS IN THE FAMILY....My wife controls the zipper !
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Old 05-28-2017, 11:19 AM   #1502
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More relationship humor

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I WEAR THE PANTS IN THE FAMILY....My wife controls the zipper !


X-2. No explanation necessary!! Only that I wish she hadn't forgot it is a two way zipper !!

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Old 05-28-2017, 11:41 AM   #1503
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I WEAR THE PANTS IN THE FAMILY....My wife controls the zipper !
But not very much!!
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Old 05-28-2017, 08:32 PM   #1504
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Neither is my ex.
Oh, you have one like that, too?😁
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Old 05-30-2017, 11:19 AM   #1505
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I WEAR THE PANTS IN THE FAMILY....My wife controls the zipper !
Are you within the load rating on that zipper? Post up your sticker.

I hope she makes sure everything is secured before operation (up). uch:
This probably calls for a checklist.
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Old 05-31-2017, 06:54 AM   #1506
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Coming home after a few with the boys, my wife began yelling "You promised me you weren't going to drink anymore!"

I responded, "True, but I didn't promise I was going to drink any less..."
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Old 05-31-2017, 09:16 AM   #1507
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DW: Do these pants make my butt look fat?

DH: No, your fat makes your butt look fat.
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Old 05-31-2017, 09:38 AM   #1508
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DW: Do these pants make my butt look fat?

DH: No, your fat makes your butt look fat.


Have you personally talked to a DH that said that??

Probably not as he didn't live long enough to tell the story !!

Russell
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Old 05-31-2017, 09:49 AM   #1509
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"I'm fat because it runs in my family!" I said to my wife after she mocked my weight.

"No," she corrected, "You're fat because no one in your family runs!"
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Old 05-31-2017, 10:33 AM   #1510
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That would be your ex-wife right? Lol

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Old 05-31-2017, 10:35 AM   #1511
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That would be you ex-wife right? Lol

Russell
Correct.
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Old 05-31-2017, 11:43 AM   #1512
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"I'm fat because it runs in my family!" I said to my wife after she mocked my weight.

"No," she corrected, "You're fat because no one in your family runs!"
I tried exercising one time. Got all hot and sweaty. It was a totally unpleasant experience.
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Old 05-31-2017, 12:05 PM   #1513
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I just asked my 7 year old son 150 questions while he played a video game.

It was payback for the last movie we watched together.
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Old 06-01-2017, 07:27 PM   #1514
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I just asked my 7 year old son 150 questions while he played a video game.

It was payback for the last movie we watched together.


Funny? yes Accurate? yes Nice? no
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Old 06-01-2017, 07:29 PM   #1515
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O. Lots of NO nice on this thread. Lol

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Old 06-01-2017, 07:32 PM   #1516
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O. Lots of NOT nice on this thread. Lol

Russell
That's what I was gonna say (type).
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Old 06-02-2017, 08:49 AM   #1517
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My son got an F on his geography exam today.

I sent him to his room but he ended up in the fridge.
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Old 06-05-2017, 01:32 PM   #1518
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"You treat me like a dog," I said to my wife, "I want to sit down and talk about it."

"Ok," she replied, "but not on the sofa."
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Old 06-10-2017, 02:17 AM   #1519
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I don't get why my wife brags about multitasking.

There's nothing cool about doing three things wrong at once.
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Old 06-12-2017, 12:33 PM   #1520
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My wife asked me "Where you off to?"

"Jeopardy" I replied.

"Where is that?" she asked

"I'm not too sure but I just heard on the news that there's hundreds of jobs there"
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