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Old 12-10-2015, 03:25 PM   #821
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I'm going to write a book, "Marriage for Dummies." Actually its going to be, "Marriage is for Dummies," and its not really a book, its a sign.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 12-10-2015, 03:27 PM   #822
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The wife has been nagging for weeks to take her shopping for some nice clothes, I offered a compromise to go window shopping and she accepted.......

she wasn't happy when we turned up at Home Depot and I ordered 2 sets of double glazed and a set of sliding doors for the den..
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 12-10-2015, 03:28 PM   #823
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I asked the wife what would she like for Christmas. She said, "It's up to you, but don't go crazy."

I replied, "Too late for that love, we've been married 10 years."
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Old 12-10-2015, 03:32 PM   #824
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20 years ago on our wedding night, I said to my wife, "I don't know what I have done to deserve you".

Last night on our anniversary, I said to my wife, "I don't know what I have done to deserve you".
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Old 12-10-2015, 03:35 PM   #825
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"Everybody says you and mom are the happiest couple in town," my daughter said. "What's your secret?"

"We're very good liars," I told her.
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Old 12-10-2015, 03:36 PM   #826
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My wife said to me on my wedding night, "Hasn't this been the greatest day of your life?"

I said, "You're right, it hasn't".
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Old 12-10-2015, 03:37 PM   #827
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Fishing.

Undercutting divorce for centuries.
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Old 12-10-2015, 03:44 PM   #828
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"Happy birthday, love." said my wife. "I've got a great surprise for you this year, so close your eyes!"

"OK, but if you're still there when I open them, you've screwed up again."
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Old 12-10-2015, 03:45 PM   #829
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When my girlfriend split up with me she said, " I hope you never marry or have kids."

" What a nice thing to say." I thought.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 12-10-2015, 03:49 PM   #830
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"I think we need marriage counseling" my wife said to me earlier, "You never listen to me!"

I agreed with her. Marriage cancelling is another term for divorce, right?
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