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Old 12-26-2015, 07:55 AM   #861
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. My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met. Later RJD

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Old 12-27-2015, 03:34 PM   #862
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just read every post on this thread and now wonder if I'll make to April ~ our 46th anniversary...... I'll ask her when she gets home. She is 700 miles away visiting daughter and her family for the holidays.
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Old 12-28-2015, 05:52 AM   #863
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Old 12-28-2015, 08:42 AM   #864
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My wife left me because I kept quoting 1970's sitcoms.

Happy days.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 12-28-2015, 09:02 AM   #865
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire View Post
My wife left me because I kept quoting 1970's sitcoms.

Happy days.
Well if she wasn't a little "Bewitched"
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Old 12-29-2015, 12:02 AM   #866
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My wife is so paranoid that at football games when they huddle up, she thinks they are talking about her.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 12-29-2015, 12:14 AM   #867
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Why are husband's like lawnmowers?

They're hard to get started, emit fowl odors, and don't work half the time.
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Old 12-29-2015, 12:16 AM   #868
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How do you keep your husband from reading your email?

Rename the mail folder "Instruction manuals"
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Old 12-29-2015, 12:18 AM   #869
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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."
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Old 12-29-2015, 12:20 AM   #870
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"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
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