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12-07-2017, 02:35 AM
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#1721
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,962
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They say the pain during child birth is so great,
A woman can almost imagine what a man with a cold feels like.
__________________
 2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-07-2017, 02:42 AM
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#1722
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,962
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My son practiced meditation for many hours a day, in the hope that one day he would finally develop enough "zen" to be able to levitate.
Even he was utterly surprised when one day, he actually came several feet up off the ground !
I threw his rear end out the front door and told him to not come back until he'd gotten a job.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-13-2017, 02:32 PM
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#1723
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,962
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My tightwad elderly dad sent me a holiday card.
After crossing out the words "Get Well Soon," he wrote, "Merry Christmas."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-13-2017, 02:42 PM
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#1724
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: BoCoMo
Posts: 2,784
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
My tightwad elderly dad sent me a holiday card.
After crossing out the words "Get Well Soon," he wrote, "Merry Christmas."
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It is nice to know that he survived. or he was not supposed to.....? (hence him saying ... "Merry Christmas" and the joke is on you ...  )
__________________
Brother Les
2013 Forest River Salem Hemisphere SBT312QBUD
2001 CrewCab F-250 7.3 PowerStroke Diesel
SuperChip, BTS transmission, 6.0 Trans Cooler
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12-13-2017, 03:01 PM
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#1725
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,962
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I bought my mother in law a chair for her 50th birthday but the wife won't let me plug it in.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-13-2017, 03:01 PM
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#1726
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 169
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You think your Dad is cheap. Ha, my dad did the same thing except he scratched out the name of the person who first sent him the card. Funny thing is that this is the same card my wife sent him two years ago. Apparently he didn't recognize her handwriting.... Or perhaps he did. He never liked the fact that I married a Democrat.
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12-13-2017, 03:53 PM
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#1727
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JCDMeyer
You think your Dad is cheap. Ha, my dad did the same thing except he scratched out the name of the person who first sent him the card. Funny thing is that this is the same card my wife sent him two years ago. Apparently he didn't recognize her handwriting.... Or perhaps he did. He never liked the fact that I married a Democrat.
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Lol. I’m sure she has her good points.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas 
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12-13-2017, 03:55 PM
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#1728
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 169
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iwannacamp
Lol. I’m sure she has her good points.
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Perhaps she does. She married me and she is a Democrat. I'll try not to think about that. Especially around the holidays.
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12-13-2017, 04:18 PM
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#1729
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Director, FROG
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 3,519
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
My tightwad elderly dad sent me a holiday card.
After crossing out the words "Get Well Soon," he wrote, "Merry Christmas."
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True story: When I was in college, Mom used to send me unsigned cards for birthdays and other occasions. Her explanation was that even if I couldn't afford to run out and get a card when I needed to send one, I could always find an envelope.
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12-13-2017, 04:21 PM
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#1730
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 169
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Quote:
Originally Posted by F.R.O.G.
True story: When I was in college, Mom used to send me unsigned cards for birthdays and other occasions. Her explanation was that even if I couldn't afford to run out and get a card when I needed to send one, I could always find an envelope.
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Moms; always going the extra mile for their kids.
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12-13-2017, 07:11 PM
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#1731
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,962
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My wife and I had a huge fight last night, where she called me gullible and said I was "financially irresponsible."
I can't wait to see her face when I tell her I've just won the Nigerian lottery.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-13-2017, 07:12 PM
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#1732
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,962
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It used to be called burglary when a thief snuck into your house and stole all your possessions...
Now it's called getting married.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-13-2017, 07:14 PM
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#1733
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,962
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My wife and I were enjoying a swim in the hotel pool this morning, when a little boy of about five got into trouble and appeared to be drowning.
Luckily, my wife was there to save his life.
She got out to inform the lifeguard and the water level dropped enough for him to stand up.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-14-2017, 02:49 AM
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#1734
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,962
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I'm not sure what's worse.
Women who make you try and figure out what's bothering them?
Or the women who actually tell you.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-15-2017, 09:06 PM
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#1735
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 161
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I went to the doctor the other day and I said doctor doctor I'm shrinking I'm shrinking
he said that's OK you'll just have to be a little patient
Greg in Michigan
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12-15-2017, 09:07 PM
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#1736
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 161
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I went to the psychaiatrist the other day and I said I'm turning into a dog, I know I'm a dog. the psychaiatrist said you can't be but sit on the couch and we'll talk about it.
I said I'm not allowed on the furniture
Greg in Michigan
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12-15-2017, 11:33 PM
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#1737
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,962
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Sunday, Monday, Happy Days
Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days
Thursday, Friday, Happy Days
Saturday my wife gets back from her business trip
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-16-2017, 03:40 AM
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#1738
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,962
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I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words.
She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect.
Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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12-16-2017, 10:46 AM
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#1739
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Moundsville Wv
Posts: 1,504
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
My wife and I were enjoying a swim in the hotel pool this morning, when a little boy of about five got into trouble and appeared to be drowning.
Luckily, my wife was there to save his life.
She got out to inform the lifeguard and the water level dropped enough for him to stand up.
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took me a second
__________________
2003 Duramax
2010 Blue Ridge
1 DW
1 mutt
on occasion 1 DD
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12-16-2017, 10:56 AM
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#1740
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Site Team
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Grayson County, Texas
Posts: 21,587
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words.
She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect.
Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.
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Took me MORE than a second!
__________________
2015 FR Wildcat 295RSX / GMC Sierra
Nights Camped: '13 = 49/'14 = 74/'15 = 74/'16 = 85/'17 = 110/'18 = 111/'19 = 86/'20 =108/'21 = 115/'22 = 135/'23 = 78; Booked for 2024 = 69 |
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