Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-08-2016, 06:58 PM   #921
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,475
Tonight my parents came over to watch The Hunger Games.


Yes, my wife's cooking is that bad.
__________________

__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2016, 03:01 PM   #922
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,475
With the powerball being what it is, the following jokes are in line with that:
-------------------------------------------------------------
"If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is a face lift and a tummy tuck," said my 49 year old girlfriend as I was checking my ticket.

"Well, actually, the first thing I would buy is a reconditioned engine and a paint job for my Mustang," I replied.

"Why would you waste your money tarting that old thing up, you might as well get yourself a new one," she said.

"My point exactly."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I won a tidy sum on the lottery and gave my homeless brother-in-law a new home.

It was the box from my new 65" TV.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Can you believe it?

This guy wins $181 million lottery on Wednesday, and then finds the love of his life just two days later. Talk about luck!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I won the Lottery last night.

I haven't told the wife yet, I can't use my phone on the plane.

------------------------------------------------------------------

My wife told me if she ever won the Lottery she wouldn't give me a penny and she'd move out of the country.

Little does she know I've been using the same numbers as her for 5 years.

That'll wipe the smile off her fat face

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I recorded last week's lottery drawing on television and, knowing the result, bought my wife a ticket for tonight's draw using those numbers.

I plan to play the recording tonight, so she'll think it's live.

When she thinks she's won, she'll have a heart-attack.

That'll get her back for burning my toast.

--------------------------------------------------------------

wmtire will deny everything, if you find yourself divorced after doing the above to your spouse.
__________________

__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2016, 03:09 PM   #923
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,475
I don't think I'm ever going to win the lottery.

I can't even pick the pen that works from a choice of two at the lottery stand.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Just checked the lottery ticket from Saturday, I shouted to my wife:

"We got two numbers, love."

Wife; "Well it's better than none at all, love."

"Actually, it isn't, you moron."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

If I won the Lottery, I don't think I'd change much.

I'd still be an a-hole, only flying around in a Blackhawk Helicopter.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ever played the Eskimo lottery?

You have to be Inuit to win it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

If I won the lottery, money wouldn't change me.

It would change my wife though.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2016, 12:08 AM   #924
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,475
Studies show women only make 85 cents for every dollar a man makes, but court documents show women get 85 cents for every dollar a man has.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2016, 04:55 AM   #925
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,475
I have such low self esteem even my imaginary girlfriend left me
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2016, 05:01 AM   #926
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,475
Did I already post my Alzheimer's joke?
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2016, 11:22 AM   #927
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,475
My wife told me that all her friends had complimented her on her new hair do,

I complimented her for having such polite friends.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2016, 11:26 AM   #928
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,475
I just asked out a girl I've known for years and I'm distraught. The most attractive person you could ever meet, eyes that you can't help but stare into, wit that could get everyone laughing, an unmatched smile that could warm anyone's heart.

Why she turned that down, I don't know.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2016, 11:27 AM   #929
Site Team
 
wmtire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,475
I approached a girl in a bar and told her she was one in a million.

"Thanks" she said "That's very sweet of you!"

"Oh" I said "It's not a compliment. I just can't imagine that there are 999,999 uglier people.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2016, 12:07 PM   #930
Canadian Contingent
 
Dogpatch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Euro-Recliner
Posts: 158
My wife always tells me I never listen to her.

At least I think that's what she said.
__________________

__________________
Les, Bonnie, Morgan, and 4 Leggers Bella and Bruce
2010 Cardinal 3450RL 4 slide Full Body Paint pushing our 2015 Ram 3500 Laramie 4x4 SRW SB - Pullrite 2900 Superglide 18k
Dogpatch is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

« cute joke(s) | - »
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




» Virginia Campgrounds

Reviews provided by




ForestRiverForums.com is not in any way associated with Forest River, Inc. or its associated RV manufacturing divisions.

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:10 PM.