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03-10-2018, 01:08 PM
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#1861
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 5,058
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__________________
Al
I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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03-10-2018, 02:08 PM
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#1862
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SailorSam20500
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Maybe a book is where he's getting them! 
__________________
1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
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03-10-2018, 03:03 PM
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#1863
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 7,363
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SailorSam20500
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Every time he makes more she takes him back to court for her cut. Lol.
Russell
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03-10-2018, 03:40 PM
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#1864
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: North of Seattle, WA
Posts: 17,333
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CAT-RN
Every time he makes more she takes him back to court for her cut. Lol.
Russell
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When I divorced I left everything behind but my job and a car. Told her there was no more.
Apparently the message was clear. Never bothered me for a cent and that was over 30 years ago. If she had I think I would have gone totally off grid and it would have cost her more to find me than what she'd get.
__________________
"A wise man can change his mind. A fool never will." (Japanese Proverb)
"You only grow old when you run out of new things to do"
2018 Flagstaff Micro Lite 25BDS
2023 f-150 SCREW XLT 3.5 Ecoboost (The result of a $68,000 oil change  )
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03-10-2018, 09:52 PM
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#1865
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Eastern NC
Posts: 3,963
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This is the story of an Italian man & his Italian wife:
Luigi had just finished reading a new book entitled,
"YOU ARE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE"
He stormed over to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I'ma THE MAN of thisa house and my word is Law. You will make me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating the meal, you'll serve me a delicious dessert.
After dinner, we go upstairs and we'll havea the kind of sex that I want.
After that, you're going to give me a bath so I can relax.
You washa my back and dry me and bringa me my robe....... Then, you massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who'sagonna dress me and comba my hair?"
His Sicilian wife Maria replied,
"My first guess would be the freakin' funeral director!"
__________________
2022 Montana 3855 BR
2019 F350 6.7 4X4 LB Dually
Edgewater 205 EX 150 Yamaha
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03-10-2018, 10:10 PM
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#1866
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptnJohn
This is the story of an Italian man & his Italian wife:
Luigi had just finished reading a new book entitled,
"YOU ARE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE"
He stormed over to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I'ma THE MAN of thisa house and my word is Law. You will make me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating the meal, you'll serve me a delicious dessert.
After dinner, we go upstairs and we'll havea the kind of sex that I want.
After that, you're going to give me a bath so I can relax.
You washa my back and dry me and bringa me my robe....... Then, you massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who'sagonna dress me and comba my hair?"
His Sicilian wife Maria replied,
"My first guess would be the freakin' funeral director!"
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I am from Arkansas....I don’t get it.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas 
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03-10-2018, 10:49 PM
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#1867
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 1,460
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Its supposed to say “ the undertaker”
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03-10-2018, 11:23 PM
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#1868
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Eastern NC
Posts: 3,963
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Four guys have been going to the same golfing trip to St Andrews for many years.
Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up!
"Wow, Jack, how long you been here, and how did you talk your misses into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night..
Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles
and rose petals all over. Well she's been reading '50 Shades of Grey'......
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
So--- Here I am!
__________________
2022 Montana 3855 BR
2019 F350 6.7 4X4 LB Dually
Edgewater 205 EX 150 Yamaha
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03-10-2018, 11:27 PM
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#1869
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Eastern NC
Posts: 3,963
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Speaking of GOLF ~~
A golf ethics question
What if you were playing in the club championship tournament finals and the match was halved at the end of 17 holes.
You had the honor and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six iron to the pin.
Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it deep into the woods to the right of the fairway. Being the golfing gentleman that you are, you help your opponent look for his ball. Just before the permitted five minute search period ends, your opponent says: “Go ahead and hit your second shot and if I don’t find it in time, I’ll concede the match.”
You hit your ball, landing it on the green, stopping about ten feet from the pin. About the time your ball comes to rest, you hear your opponent exclaim from deep in the woods: “I found it!”.
The second sound you hear is a click, the sound of a club striking a ball and the ball comes sailing out of the woods
and lands on the green, stopping no more than six inches from the hole.
Now here is the ethical dilemma:
Do you pull the cheaters ball out of your pocket and confront him with it or do you keep your mouth shut?
__________________
2022 Montana 3855 BR
2019 F350 6.7 4X4 LB Dually
Edgewater 205 EX 150 Yamaha
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03-10-2018, 11:40 PM
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#1870
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heavynlori
Its supposed to say “ the undertaker”
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Sweet. That makes it pretty funny
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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03-11-2018, 06:19 AM
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#1871
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,927
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Husband: Call an ambulance, fast ! I am having heart attack...
Wife ( Took his mobile phone) : Quick !Tell me the password !
Husband : It's ok ! I am feeling better now
__________________
 2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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03-11-2018, 06:42 AM
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#1872
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 604
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What does a woman do with her ass every morning?
Packs his lunch and sends him off to work....
*
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03-11-2018, 01:32 PM
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#1873
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptnJohn
Speaking of GOLF ~~
A golf ethics question
Now here is the ethical dilemma:
Do you pull the cheaters ball out of your pocket and confront him with it or do you keep your mouth shut?
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Just goes to show it takes a cheater to know a cheater. They both should be disqualified.
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03-11-2018, 01:39 PM
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#1874
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,927
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I always have a note in my pocket that says
"Brenda did it"
just in case I'm murdered because I don't want her to remarry.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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03-11-2018, 01:40 PM
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#1875
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,927
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My wife's anti aging cream went bad.
HOW DOES ANTI AGING CREAM HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE?!
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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03-11-2018, 09:34 PM
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#1876
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,927
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The wife said, "My mother thinks you're a shifty person. You never look her in the eye."
I replied, "There's a practical reason for that."
"What?"
"I don't want to be turned to stone."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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03-11-2018, 09:38 PM
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#1877
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,927
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The wife and I got into a terrible verbal argument in which she proceeded to call me names.
I smugly said, "Words can't hurt me."
Then she proved me wrong. She threw a dictionary at me
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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03-12-2018, 08:36 PM
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#1878
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,927
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I'm combining Easter and April Fools day this year.......
.........I'm sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven't hidden.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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03-13-2018, 12:41 AM
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#1879
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 5,058
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Kind of related to this thread...
I haven't decided if it is a good idea or not, but my nephew is getting married on April 1. At least he won't have trouble remembering his anniversary day...
__________________
Al
I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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03-13-2018, 06:16 AM
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#1880
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 126
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My wife asked me the dreaded question one day: "If something happens to me, would you get married again?"
If I was a smart man, I would have kept my mouth shut. I'm not.
I looked at her and said, "Hell, no"
She gives me a look, and asks why not?
And that's when I made the fatal mistake...I replied, "I've done the math, and it would be a hell of a lot cheaper to rent!"
__________________
2016 Ram Rebel
2018 Coachmen Freedom Express 248RBS
2017 - 16 nights
2018 - 31 nights
2019 - 0 So far
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