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Old 01-18-2016, 01:20 PM   #941
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You are a brave man wmtire, posting all these things about your wife. I would have knots all over my head by now.
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Old 01-18-2016, 04:17 PM   #942
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You are a brave man wmtire, posting all these things about your wife. I would have knots all over my head by now.
No worries, I'm divorced. Go figure, huh?
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 01-18-2016, 04:18 PM   #943
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Nervously, I sat waiting for the psychic. All of a sudden, he burst in:

"You hate your life, every day is a drag and you can't wait for death."

"That's exactly right," I said, "but you've only just come in, how do you know all that?"

"Easy" he replied, "I've just seen your wife in the waiting room."
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 01-19-2016, 12:34 AM   #944
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No worries, I'm divorced. Go figure, huh?
LOL
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Old 01-19-2016, 12:53 AM   #945
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Q: Why do so few men end up in Heaven?
A: They never stop to ask directions


Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They're hard to get started, they emit noxious fumes, and half the time they don't work.

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.


Boy: Do you want a kiss?
Girl: No.
Boy: Do you remember what i just said?
Girl: Do you want a kiss? Boy: Yes, if you insist..
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Old 01-20-2016, 12:02 PM   #946
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You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?
That's common sense leaving your body
Later RJD
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Old 01-20-2016, 12:04 PM   #947
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Of course I talk to myself; Sometimes I need expert advice
Later RJD
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Old 01-21-2016, 09:28 PM   #948
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Political correctness is out of order. I had to play bovine people and native americans today with the kids.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 01-22-2016, 09:18 AM   #949
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I asked my wife what she genuinely thought of me. She told me I was arrogant.

I replied, "All right, I'll give you that, but I'm amazing at everything else aren't I?"
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 01-22-2016, 06:30 PM   #950
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I'm not saying my wife is ugly, but the milkman flirts with me.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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