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Old 04-28-2016, 09:12 AM   #1101
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Differences between women and men:
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Old 04-28-2016, 09:14 AM   #1102
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Intuition: that strange instinct that tells a woman she is right, whether she is or not.
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Old 04-28-2016, 09:24 AM   #1103
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In retrospect, during our last argument, when my wife brought up one of my many long ago mistakes and I said "You are like an elephant", I probably should have made it clear I was referring to her memory.
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Old 04-28-2016, 09:38 AM   #1104
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So true:


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Old 04-28-2016, 10:14 AM   #1105
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So true:


That really hits home with me. Between my wife and my 3 teenage daughters, we usually have enough shampoo in our shower to last a year or so. Or at least that's how long it would last me. We seem to be constantly buying the stuff. All different brands and colors. One is for curly hair. One is for dry hair. One is for hair that has been colored...

I just grab whatever is closest. My hair is only 1/4" long (according to the blade guard on the trimmer I use). As long as it makes it clean, I'm good.
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Old 04-28-2016, 05:40 PM   #1106
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That really hits home with me. Between my wife and my 3 teenage daughters, we usually have enough shampoo in our shower to last a year or so. Or at least that's how long it would last me. We seem to be constantly buying the stuff. All different brands and colors. One is for curly hair. One is for dry hair. One is for hair that has been colored...

I just grab whatever is closest. My hair is only 1/4" long (according to the blade guard on the trimmer I use). As long as it makes it clean, I'm good.
You have my condolences! I only have a wife and 1 daughter, but I know what you're talking about!
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Old 04-29-2016, 07:36 AM   #1107
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I live with my wife, two daughters, two female cats, a female dog...

Several years ago we had a neighbor that was going to pet-sit for us. During the tour I kept referring to our fish as 'he.' When the neighbor asked me how I knew the fish was a male, I told her "Because I NEED him to be!"

Sadly, he died.





The fish, not the neighbor.
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Old 04-29-2016, 09:36 AM   #1108
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I live with my wife, two daughters, two female cats, a female dog...

Several years ago we had a neighbor that was going to pet-sit for us. During the tour I kept referring to our fish as 'he.' When the neighbor asked me how I knew the fish was a male, I told her "Because I NEED him to be!"

Sadly, he died.

The fish, not the neighbor.
Reminded me of the old joke: Why do husbands usually die before their wives? Because they WANT to!
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Old 04-29-2016, 10:16 AM   #1109
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I live with my wife, two daughters, two female cats, a female dog...

Several years ago we had a neighbor that was going to pet-sit for us. During the tour I kept referring to our fish as 'he.' When the neighbor asked me how I knew the fish was a male, I told her "Because I NEED him to be!"

Sadly, he died.





The fish, not the neighbor.
I'm badly out-numbered at my house. Wife, 3 daughters, 2 female dogs and one female cat. We do have 3 male cats though.
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Old 04-29-2016, 10:30 AM   #1110
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Sadly, I too am outnumbered except for a male dog, and he doesn't lift his leg to pee.
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Old 04-29-2016, 10:34 AM   #1111
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I was in that shape too. Daughters have grown and now just me and my wife plus 2 male dogs. Payback
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Old 04-29-2016, 02:25 PM   #1112
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Sadly, I too am outnumbered except for a male dog, and he doesn't lift his leg to pee.
It's ok, sometimes I sit to pee.
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Old 04-30-2016, 09:28 AM   #1113
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I call my girlfriend 'Plunger'..


Because she loves to bring up old crap.
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Old 04-30-2016, 09:39 AM   #1114
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I was watching a documentary about Alzheimer's last night, when I turned to my wife and said:

"What a horrible condition, if I ever get Alzheimer's , I think I'll just shoot myself".

"I know" she replied, "You said that 5 minutes ago".
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Old 04-30-2016, 09:54 AM   #1115
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"This is all your fault!" my wife yelled this morning.

"What have I done now?" I asked her.

"Give me a chance to think," she said, "I've only just woke up."
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Old 04-30-2016, 11:19 AM   #1116
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So, not a joke but I did enjoy this couple walking through the campground. I watched them for a while - arm in arm, her hand in his back pocket, and smiling and laughing the whole way. I want to be them when I grow up.

Attachment 106513
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Old 05-01-2016, 11:43 AM   #1117
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So, not a joke but I did enjoy this couple walking through the campground. I watched them for a while - arm in arm, her hand in his back pocket, and smiling and laughing the whole way. I want to be them when I grow up.

Attachment 106513
Was she reaching for his wallet?
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Old 05-03-2016, 09:55 AM   #1118
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Old 05-03-2016, 09:36 PM   #1119
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Old 05-09-2016, 10:17 AM   #1120
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The three unwritten rules of life:

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