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Old 03-19-2017, 04:34 PM   #1441
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not maybe, ..... that IS the jest of the post, ..
he spent 30 grand THROWING a party(celebrating),
BECAUSE she was kidnapped(gone), .....
That's it.

Come on Doug, it was pretty obvious. Other people got it
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Old 03-19-2017, 04:37 PM   #1442
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That's it.

Come on Doug, it was pretty obvious. Other people got it


Attachment 132227
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Old 03-19-2017, 05:18 PM   #1443
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Doug you're very smart!!!

You're full timers.........
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Old 03-20-2017, 10:25 PM   #1444
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My head's been a right mess since I got divorced.



Synthetics, Whites, Wool, Delicates. What does all this mean?
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Old 03-26-2017, 09:54 PM   #1445
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I asked my wife last week, "Where's the car keys?"

"They're in my purse." She replied.

I'm still searching for them now.
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Old 03-27-2017, 02:23 PM   #1446
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Hey Doug, Ever get the "PICNIC" error code on your computer?

Problem In Chair Not In Computer


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Old 03-29-2017, 02:11 PM   #1447
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My wife commented that every human action is the result of a chemical reaction. Makes sense. It explains why she turns green when in close proximity to a superior specimen
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Old 04-01-2017, 07:40 AM   #1448
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My wife has been dancing around all happy this morning after I told her she was beautiful.

I don't think she's realized what date it is today.
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Old 04-01-2017, 07:47 AM   #1449
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Next she going to say she want to have her way with you!!

You need to remember what day it is then. For sure that will be a joke !!

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Old 04-01-2017, 06:39 PM   #1450
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My wife has been dancing around all happy this morning after I told her she was beautiful.

I don't think she's realized what date it is today.
When she shoots you, none of us is going to show up with a Band-Aid. None. We don't want to get involved or get caught up in the second round of fire. You are SO on your own.
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Old 04-01-2017, 09:33 PM   #1451
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I'm quite pleased my wife doesn't feel the urge to wear makeup.

To be honest, I couldn't afford what she'd need.
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Old 04-01-2017, 09:53 PM   #1452
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Boy, If you aren't asking for BIG trouble! LOL!
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Old 04-01-2017, 09:58 PM   #1453
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Boy, If you aren't asking for BIG trouble! LOL!
Actually I'm not. Divorced since Dec 2012... still fighting in court till this day.
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Old 04-02-2017, 03:47 PM   #1454
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that sure does explain your wonderful sense of humor .... on rare occasions I will share what you have written with DH. You should consider some level of open mic night for your comedy!
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Old 04-02-2017, 10:38 PM   #1455
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that sure does explain your wonderful sense of humor .... on rare occasions I will share what you have written with DH. You should consider some level of open mic night for your comedy!
Uhhhh, thanks, I think.

I have a really bad habit of laughing uncontrollably at my own jokes. Which is why I didn't make it as a stand-up comedian.
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Old 04-02-2017, 10:41 PM   #1456
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I once took a librarian on a date, and she cost me a fortune.

My own fault though, I kept her out too long.
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Old 04-02-2017, 10:43 PM   #1457
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I knew my wife would start complaining when I came home late from the bar tonight. I had a premoanition.
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Old 04-05-2017, 04:04 PM   #1458
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Old 04-06-2017, 09:59 PM   #1459
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I have felt really embarrassed ever since my wife has taken a job as a cashier at the McDonalds.

She makes more money than me.
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Old 04-09-2017, 01:08 AM   #1460
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Next she going to say she want to have her way with you!!

You need to remember what day it is then. For sure that will be a joke !!

Russell
My DW always had her way with me! I do the dishes, take out the garbage, etc.
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