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Old 07-17-2018, 09:39 AM   #1981
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"Every time I see you, you have a beer can in your hand. Are you becoming an alcoholic?!" screamed the missus.

I just told her yes, because it was much easier than admitting to her that last week my buddy Dave dared me to glue it to my hand just to see what would happen.
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Old 07-21-2018, 03:42 PM   #1982
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"Every time I see you, you have a beer can in your hand. Are you becoming an alcoholic?!" screamed the missus.

I just told her yes, because it was much easier than admitting to her that last week my buddy Dave dared me to glue it to my hand just to see what would happen.


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Old 07-26-2018, 01:47 AM   #1983
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I used to sneak out of the house to go to parties, now I sneak out of parties to go home.
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Old 07-26-2018, 11:22 AM   #1984
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Stolen from another forum... Too good not to pass on.

Ok, my wife and I got married, at the time I got her a simple engagement ring nothing fancy.

Well, our 10 year anniversary was approaching and I started getting "hints" of a nicer ring.

One day driving in the car with my MIL in the back seat my wife start the "I want a nice ring" bit. After a couple of these comments my MIL chimed and said "Why don't you get her a nice ring"

Without missing a beat I turned around and said "I haven't decided whether I want to keep her or NOT!"

That shut her up
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Old 07-26-2018, 11:48 AM   #1985
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The 3 rings of matrimony:

1. The engagement ring
2. The wedding ring
3. The suffeRING.
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Old 08-02-2018, 07:09 AM   #1986
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Listening to the reactions of my wife and her friend talking via facebook messenger last night, and I think it should be renamed two facebook.
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Old 08-07-2018, 10:14 AM   #1987
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My manager wears rubber rings as it's hard for him to work in the metal kind. His wife just bought him a new one, which is this one:

https://www.titanium-buzz.com/tire-tread-rings/



It's pretty cool.
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Old 08-08-2018, 06:23 AM   #1988
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How cool would that be for a tire guy!! Wedding ring??

Russell
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Old 08-08-2018, 06:53 AM   #1989
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How cool would that be for a tire guy!! Wedding ring??

Russell
Yes, it is his wedding ring. He had another rubber kind but eventually broke it, as he has others. His wife is replacing it with this one since he is a tire store manager.

He was telling me the story of how he had these type Interco tires on his truck when he first started dating his wife.
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Old 08-08-2018, 06:56 AM   #1990
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I was thinking a wedding ring for you?

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Old 08-08-2018, 07:02 AM   #1991
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I was thinking a wedding ring for you?

Russell
Ha, you are a funny man.... And that is a good joke. [emoji3]
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Old 08-08-2018, 09:41 PM   #1992
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Yes, it is his wedding ring. He had another rubber kind but eventually broke it, as he has others. His wife is replacing it with this one since he is a tire store manager.

He was telling me the story of how he had these type Interco tires on his truck when he first started dating his wife.
I saw a dude with a Bogger tattoo on his bicep... I said "is that a Bogger track?". He said yeah and you are about the only other person that ever knew that. I used to love Boggers.
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Old 08-20-2018, 10:20 PM   #1993
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I took my son to visit my aunt in Australia.

She looked at him and said, "you've grown two feet since I last saw you!"

I said, "nah, he's always had them. If he didn't, his shoes would fall off'.
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Old 08-25-2018, 08:57 PM   #1994
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I'm not suggesting my sister is a hypochondriac but the only thing she hasn't contracted yet is a computer virus.
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Old 08-25-2018, 09:04 PM   #1995
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The wife said she'd show me how to save 50% on her shoes by buying them in the sales.

I showed her how to save 100%.
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Old 08-27-2018, 02:06 AM   #1996
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My wife insists I give her a kiss and a cuddle before we go to sleep.

And that's how I became an insomniac.
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Old 08-27-2018, 02:07 AM   #1997
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I was going to put a tv in the bathroom..but decided to put a urinal in the living room instead!
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Old 08-28-2018, 11:07 AM   #1998
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I was going to put a tv in the bathroom..but decided to put a urinal in the living room instead!
That earned you some serious points with the DW!!!
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Old 08-28-2018, 07:59 PM   #1999
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That earned you some serious points with the DW!!!


Don’t think he has a DW. Lol. Thus the reason for the content of much of his humor.

Russell
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Old 09-14-2018, 03:54 PM   #2000
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My wife wants to go pumpkin picking this weekend. I don't...so that idea was squashed
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