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Old 12-27-2013, 08:00 PM   #11
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One of my favorites that I used on one of my friends once (he still talks about it to this day):

"You look like a professional blind date"
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Ducks are just all-terrain chickens
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Old 12-27-2013, 11:10 PM   #12
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I was a little more bold- I once told my wife:

Quote:
Don't speak, it makes you unattractive.
And I lived to tell the tale!
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:41 AM   #13
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The going got weird and he turned pro.

The only thing he brought to this job was his car.

The twinkle in his eyes is actually the sun shining between his ears.

There is no vaccine against stupidity.

We do not complain about your shortcomings but about your long stayings.

Whatever is eating you - must be suffering horribly.

I always wanted to be a troubleshooter but now I see you are not worth it!

I'd like to give you a going-away present ... but you have to do your part.

He/She's so short you can see their legs on their drivers license picture.
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Old 12-28-2013, 06:28 AM   #14
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Told this one to my know it all 13 year old daughter.
I feel so sad for you.
Daughter - why?
Because I used to be as smart as you, but everyday, from now on, for the rest of your life, your gonna be losing all that knowledge just like i did, and when you're my age you'll be as dumb as me.
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Old 12-28-2013, 11:41 AM   #15
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Told this one to my know it all 13 year old daughter.
I feel so sad for you.
Daughter - why?
Because I used to be as smart as you, but everyday, from now on, for the rest of your life, your gonna be losing all that knowledge just like i did, and when you're my age you'll be as dumb as me.
Mark Twain said that when he was 16, his father didn't know anything, but by the time he was 21, it was amazing how much the old man had learned.
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Old 12-28-2013, 11:47 AM   #16
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Heard this one once-

He's so bow-legged,he couldn't catch a pig in a ditch.

Well I thought it was funny.
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Old 12-28-2013, 12:33 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by rockfordroo View Post

Mark Twain said that when he was 16, his father didn't know anything, but by the time he was 21, it was amazing how much the old man had learned.
Great. I've often said "the older I got, the smarter he was."
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:22 PM   #18
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These are great can think of many uses
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:49 PM   #19
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These are great can think of many uses
Right - but will you remember them when you want to use one of them?
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Old 12-28-2013, 06:53 PM   #20
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"you look like an easter island statue with an ass full of razor blades"

Tim
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