09-18-2012, 10:55 AM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
New medications for women (joke)
The Newest Medications For Women
- Damitol -Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
- St. Momís Wort - Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering her children unconscious for up to six hours.
- Emptynestrogen - Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
- Peptobimbo - Liquid silicone for single women...2 full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
- Dumerol - When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ causing enjoyment of "blondie type activities."
- Flipitor - Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
- Menicillin - Potent antibiotic for older women...Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person can we get naked now?"
- Buy-agra - Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping...Increases potency and duration of spending spree
- Buy-one-al - When combined with Buy-agra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
- Jackasspirin - Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
- Anti-talksident - A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
- Sexcedrin - More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
- Ragamet - When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
I used to be addicted to time travel, but that's all in the past now.