New Years Resolutions You Have No Chance At Keeping
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL, LMAO, or ROTFLMAO!"
Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes
I will try to figure out why I "really" need 5 facebook accounts.
I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.
Lose 20 pounds by going to the gym!
I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.
I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
Lose weight by inventing an anti-gravity machine
Stop repeating myself again, and again, and again
I will stop tagging pictures of myself in pictures even when I'm not in them
I will think of a password other than "password"
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New Years Resolutions You Can Actually Keep
Read less.
I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.
I will start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store
Stop exercising. Waste of time. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
Watch less T.V. in standard definition
Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser.
Watch more movie remakes.
Start washing my hands after I use the restroom.
Procrastinate more.
I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
I will become a vegan for a day and subsequently learn that it was a missed steak.
I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
Drink. Drink some more.
Stop buying worthless junk on Ebay, because QVC has better specials
Start being superstitious.
Spend more time at work.
Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
Take up a new habit: maybe smoking!
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2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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