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Old 12-27-2012, 07:11 AM   #1
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,010
New Year's jokes

New Years Eve

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local bar and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.


New Years Resolutions You Can Actually Keep

Read less.

I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.

I will start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store

Stop exercising. Waste of time.

Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

Watch less T.V. in standard definition

Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser.

Watch more movie remakes.

Procrastinate more.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

Drink. Drink some more.

Stop buying worthless junk on Ebay, because QVC has better specials

Start being superstitious.

Spend more time at work.

Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

Take up a new habit: maybe smoking!
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2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I used to be addicted to time travel, but that's all in the past now.
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Old 12-27-2012, 07:51 AM   #2
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Location: Virginia Blue Ridge Foothills
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Those are my kinda resolutions.


Chap , DW Joy, and Fur Baby Sango
2006 Ford F150 Super Cab 4x4
2008 Surveyor 263
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Old 12-27-2012, 08:05 AM   #3
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: NW
Posts: 3,680
Finally....a NY resolution list I can accomplish! LOL
2013 Sabre 32RCTS-6 (sold)
Family of 4 whose always on the GEAUX!
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Old 12-27-2012, 09:56 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: central OK
Posts: 2,579
The only NY res. I want to keep is spend more time at the lake w/ dw and kids!
Honestly don't see the point in ny resolutions, but the ones above are a great starting point!
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