Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-27-2013, 11:08 AM   #1
Site Team
wmtire's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,024
Noah's Ark 2013 edition

In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said: Once again the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing long with a few good humans.

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard but no Ark.

Noah! He roared, Im about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?

Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah, but things have changed.
I needed a building permit.

Ive been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.

My neighbors claim that Ive violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. Theres a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldnt build the Ark until theyd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

Im still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities Im supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration is checking the status of most of the people who want to work.

The trade unions say I cant use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, they seized all my assets, claiming Im trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this ark.

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, You mean youre not going to destroy the world?

No, said the Lord. The government beat me to it.

2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I used to be addicted to time travel, but that's all in the past now.
wmtire is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 08:15 AM   #2
Senior Member
Dodge Guy's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 709
Love it!
02 Ford Excursion V-10 4.30 gears 5 Star Tuner Y-pipe mod Hellwig sway bar Rear Airbags
Prodigy and Dual Cam
07 Cherokee 32B
Better to have a bad day of camping than a good day at work!
Dodge Guy is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

» Virginia Campgrounds

Reviews provided by is not in any way associated with Forest River, Inc. or its associated RV manufacturing divisions.

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities

Copyright 2002-2015 Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:25 AM.