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Old 06-19-2014, 12:01 PM   #1
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,074
prison joke

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After 3 years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community.... and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him. But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place".

2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.... I will keep you posted.
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Old 06-19-2014, 05:52 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Mike found himself at the Pearly Gates of heaven and facing St. Peter. Peter seemed flustered as he flipped through a big book and the checked his computer and then back to the book. Finally St. Peter said, "I am sorry, but we are changing over all,our records from the book to the computer and, as happens some things got missed. Looking at your records you are right on the edge, not particularly bad or good. This is a tough call. Is there anything significant you did recently that would help make the decision on where you are supposed to go?"

Mike was quick to say there certainly was. " I was on the way home from work and there was a detour because of the construction and then I got lost in a real bad neighborhood. I was behind a small car at a traffic light when a gang of big guys rushed the car and pulled the lady driver out. They dragged her into the alley and knew she was in in serious trouble. I grabbed my tire iron and ran into the alley after them. I jumped between her and the biggest guy there and I told him, 'If you want to get to her you have to get past me first!'"

St. Peter was clearly impressed. "Wow, that is really something, that certainly puts you over the top. It doesn't show in either of our records, when was that?"

Mike checked his watch and replied, "Oh, about 8 minutes ago."
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