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03-14-2017, 07:56 PM
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#21
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Director, FROG
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 3,518
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A female snake charmer was wooed by an undertaker and accepted his
offer of marriage. They received many gifts at the wedding but their
favorite was a set of towels embroidered with the words Hiss and Hearse.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
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So what if I don't know what apocalypse means? It's not the end of the world!
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03-14-2017, 08:11 PM
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#22
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Southern, IL
Posts: 3,272
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Quote:
Originally Posted by F.R.O.G.
You sound like the glassblower who developed a case of hiccups, and ended up with a pane in his stomach.
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Is your bride watching that new show "This is Us" too? I gave her a box of tissues and headed to the forums here. 
__________________
Bob & Michelle
2016 Ford F-250 Lariat 4x4
2017 Flagstaff Super Lite 526RLWS
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03-14-2017, 08:38 PM
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#23
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Between Pickles Gap and Toad Suck, AR
Posts: 6,070
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I almost decided against getting a brain transplant........but then I changed my mind.
A lot of couples don't work out together. After all, some relationships simply don't work out!
If Apple made a car, would it even have Windows?
__________________
"Next to prayer, fishing is the most personal relationship of man" Herbert Hoover
"American by Birth, Southern by the Grace of God"Lewis Grizzard
FROG AR-0019-242
2016 GMC Denali 3500Dually--2017 CC 36CKTS
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03-14-2017, 08:52 PM
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#24
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Director, FROG
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 3,518
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wobbles
Is your bride watching that new show "This is Us" too? I gave her a box of tissues and headed to the forums here.
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Several of our daughters are apparently big fans, but Cindy's more the "NCIS" and "NCIS: New Orleans" type.
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03-14-2017, 10:38 PM
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#25
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
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Did you hear about the guy that fell into the lens grinding machine? He made a spectacle of himself.
__________________
1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
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03-19-2017, 09:25 PM
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#26
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Director, FROG
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 3,518
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04-05-2017, 10:11 PM
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#27
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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My cat's a massive Paul Simon fan.
You can call meow.
__________________
 2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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04-23-2017, 09:32 PM
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#28
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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I've got a job as part of a human chess board.
I'm on knights this week.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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04-24-2017, 07:52 AM
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#29
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Director, FROG
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 3,518
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
I've got a job as part of a human chess board.
I'm on knights this week.
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Can you buy an entire set of chess pieces in a pawn shop?
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04-27-2017, 04:34 PM
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#30
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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Cheap shoes are a woman's arch enemy.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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05-02-2017, 07:38 PM
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#31
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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Why did the Australian invent a new stomach exercise?
Because he wanted to be ab original.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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05-05-2017, 06:18 AM
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#32
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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I wonder if the Arachnophobia Helpline have a web site.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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05-05-2017, 06:21 AM
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#33
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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Bad spellers of the world untie!!!
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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05-18-2017, 07:22 AM
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#34
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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I've just bought the personalized license plate BAA BAA.
For my black jeep.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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05-18-2017, 07:30 AM
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#35
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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There's a new Gillette razor designed for dyslexics.
It's the best thing since sliced beard.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-14-2017, 03:44 PM
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#36
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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I saw a man with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes and rabbits' feet earlier, trying to get it up a hill.
I thought, "He's pushing his luck."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-23-2017, 04:25 AM
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#37
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,952
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Chinese Takeout $24
Fuel to pick it up $2
Getting home and realizing someone has forgotten one of your containers
Riceless.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-23-2017, 08:26 PM
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#38
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Now a "Top Member"
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Roman Forest, TX
Posts: 4,352
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At dinner tonight, one of the guys (an engineer...go figure), said "Juneau Alaska has a lot of turbine generators". To which I responded, "Now Juneau something Ju didn't neau before"!
__________________
Ed and Sharon
2010 Wildcat 28RKBS
2019 Ford F-250 XLT - AWESOME Truck!
Retired AF MSgt
I thought I was wrong once, but I was wrong!
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06-23-2017, 08:34 PM
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#39
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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Yesterday a clown held a door open for me... it was a nice jester.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas 
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06-23-2017, 08:36 PM
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#40
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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It was an emotional wedding...even the cake was in tiers.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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