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Old 03-11-2013, 09:58 PM   #11
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Anacortes, WA
Posts: 1,169
Here's a really good one, from the TV show the Two Ronnies. They used to do an imitation news report, and I think this one was one of their best.

Scotland Yard has been requested by Interpol on behalf of the Israeli authorities to look out for a fugitive in whom they have an interest. The fugitive's name is Joseph Epstein.

Older viewers may rremember that the Epstein family generated some controversy just before Joseph's birth. His father, Abe Epstein, was a sales executive for a British company with extensive European interests. Abe had responsibility for Spain and Portugal.

On one of his trips, to Barcelona, he met a beautiful young woman with whom he fell deeply in love. They had quite a torrid initial relationship, and he asked her to marry him. It was a big surprise when she told him that she was a novitiate at a local convent, planning to become a nun. When she found she was pregnant, she was evicted from the order and returned with Abe to the UK, where they were married. They settled to a comfortable suburban life in the London borough of Tooting.

As young Joseph grew up, it became evident that he had a prodigious talent for music. He was an accomplished pianist by the time he was four years old. By the time he was 10, he was a well known viola, violin and cello player. About that time he heard a radio show where a well-known flute player performed a flute concerto.

He persuaded his dad to buy him a flute. By the time he was 13, he was playing the flute with the local amateur Philharmonic Orchestra in Tooting, and by 16, he'd been given first chair.

As he grew older, he became interested in his Jewish heritage and, at 18 he went to Israel to live with an aunt and uncle. Because his mother had been a potential Catholic nun, Joe wasn't able to become an integrated member of the population. As a result, he gravitated to an extermist nationalistic organisation.

As he'd not been accepted in the community, he'd had to take a series of low-level jobs and was working as a tractor/plough driver on a kibbutz not far from the Israeli seaport of Haifa. The nationalistis decided to stage a riot in Haifa, and Joe was seen on surveillance video carring stereo and computer gear from a looted electronics store. When he learned the authorities were looking for hime he disappeared. Israeli authorities believe he has returned to England.

People are asked to be on the lookout for a Haifa-looting, Tooting fluting son of a nun from Barcelona, part-time ploughboy Joe.

Frank and Eileen
No longer RVers or FR owners
F and E Damp is offline   Reply With Quote

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