Journey with Confidence RV GPS App RV Trip Planner RV LIFE Campground Reviews RV Maintenance Take a Speed Test Free 7 Day Trial ×


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-09-2013, 02:19 PM   #1
phat phrog stunt crew
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: bethalto il
Posts: 1,422
puns for one and all.

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
dwaynerz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2013, 02:27 PM   #2
Senior Member
 
BigTJohn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Palm Coast FL
Posts: 746
These are TOO Phunny! Best one is the vulture!
__________________
Brenda and John
'14 Ram 3500 MCSB 6.7L HO PullRite 16K S/G, Grey Columbus 320RS Camped '14 - 146 days/'15 - 196 days
USN-EOD(Ret), Master Chief, 30 yrs,
Master Blaster of the Navy
BigTJohn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2013, 03:13 PM   #3
Director, FROG
 
F.R.O.G.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Middlebury, IN
Posts: 3,512
You should be sued for pun-iive damages.
__________________

Bob Byrne
Director, Forest River Owners' Group (FROG)
frog@forestriverinc.com
www.forestriverfrog.com
F.R.O.G. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2013, 05:39 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
WolfWhistle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,275
He should be pun-ished!
__________________
Hyper Lite was sold

2017 F-250 4x4 6.2L Gas
I can't fix everything, but I can make it so nobody else can
WolfWhistle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2013, 06:40 PM   #5
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 83
Lucky #13 is about my life!
__________________
2011 Forest River Georgetown 350ts
Where We Have Been
RV Guide for rv mods and rv tips
halibut3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2013, 03:49 PM   #6
Senior Member
 
Barney1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 311
Ha ha
__________________
Barney

2020 Salem Cruise Lite 241QBXL
2016 Ram 1500 Big Horn Eco-Diesel
Previous Trailer -> 2012 Rockwood Roo 233s
-> 1996 Jayco 1207
Barney1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2013, 04:04 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
BOBFIDY's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Broken Arrow, OK
Posts: 1,112
I'm reading a book about anti gravity.....I can't put it down.
__________________
2011 FORD F350 CREW CAB DUALLY DIESEL 4x2
2010 Salem LA 292FKDS
One of the Original 14 F.R.O.G.s
1st, 2nd, and 3rd INTERNATIONAL F.R.O.G. RALLY Branson. MO.
1st, 2nd, and 4th INTERNATIONAL RALLY Goshen, IN.
BOBFIDY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2013, 03:55 PM   #8
phat phrog stunt crew
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: bethalto il
Posts: 1,422
nice bobfidy. good one.
dwaynerz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2013, 04:04 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
Rugged Brown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 2,106
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
__________________
Terry/Bernadette
Lily the Yorkie
2019 Dodge Ram Sport 1500
2019 FR Vibe 28RL
Rugged Brown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2013, 04:52 PM   #10
Phat Phrog Stunt Team
 
TURBS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 34,507
Glad ur all havin phun ! As I am done reading these phor cryin out loud !! ive ruined enouph comphuter screens.
phissed !
TURBS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2013, 09:58 PM   #11
Anacortesians
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Anacortes, WA
Posts: 1,166
Here's a really good one, from the TV show the Two Ronnies. They used to do an imitation news report, and I think this one was one of their best.

Scotland Yard has been requested by Interpol on behalf of the Israeli authorities to look out for a fugitive in whom they have an interest. The fugitive's name is Joseph Epstein.

Older viewers may rremember that the Epstein family generated some controversy just before Joseph's birth. His father, Abe Epstein, was a sales executive for a British company with extensive European interests. Abe had responsibility for Spain and Portugal.

On one of his trips, to Barcelona, he met a beautiful young woman with whom he fell deeply in love. They had quite a torrid initial relationship, and he asked her to marry him. It was a big surprise when she told him that she was a novitiate at a local convent, planning to become a nun. When she found she was pregnant, she was evicted from the order and returned with Abe to the UK, where they were married. They settled to a comfortable suburban life in the London borough of Tooting.

As young Joseph grew up, it became evident that he had a prodigious talent for music. He was an accomplished pianist by the time he was four years old. By the time he was 10, he was a well known viola, violin and cello player. About that time he heard a radio show where a well-known flute player performed a flute concerto.

He persuaded his dad to buy him a flute. By the time he was 13, he was playing the flute with the local amateur Philharmonic Orchestra in Tooting, and by 16, he'd been given first chair.

As he grew older, he became interested in his Jewish heritage and, at 18 he went to Israel to live with an aunt and uncle. Because his mother had been a potential Catholic nun, Joe wasn't able to become an integrated member of the population. As a result, he gravitated to an extermist nationalistic organisation.

As he'd not been accepted in the community, he'd had to take a series of low-level jobs and was working as a tractor/plough driver on a kibbutz not far from the Israeli seaport of Haifa. The nationalistis decided to stage a riot in Haifa, and Joe was seen on surveillance video carring stereo and computer gear from a looted electronics store. When he learned the authorities were looking for hime he disappeared. Israeli authorities believe he has returned to England.

People are asked to be on the lookout for a Haifa-looting, Tooting fluting son of a nun from Barcelona, part-time ploughboy Joe.
__________________
Frank and Eileen
No longer RVers or FR owners
F and E Damp is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


» Featured Campgrounds

Reviews provided by

Disclaimer:

This website is not affiliated with or endorsed by Forest River, Inc. or any of its affiliates. This is an independent, unofficial site.



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:09 AM.