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Old 10-21-2013, 09:34 AM   #1
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Ralph

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Ralph stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think
you're stupid, Ralph?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

Ralph watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Ralph. 'Are you giving up?'

The math teacher saw that Ralph wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Ralph! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'
Ralph quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

Ralph's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ''Yes,'' said the policeman.
''The detectives want very badly to capture him.''
Ralph asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ?"

Little Ralph attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Ralph asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Ralph, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ..... '
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Old 10-21-2013, 11:38 AM   #2
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The teacher was teaching a lesson on circulation of the blood. She said, "Class, if I were to come up here to the front of the room and stand on my head, blood would flow to my head and my face would get all red. But when I stand normally, my feet don't get all red. Can anyone tell me why that is?" Little Johnny said, "Cause your feet ain't empty?"

* * * * *

The teacher said, "Johnny, I certainly hope I didn't just see you looking at Susie's test answers." Johnny said, "Gee, I hope you didn't see me, too!"
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:17 PM   #3
B47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bend302 View Post
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Ralph stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think
you're stupid, Ralph?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

Ralph watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Ralph. 'Are you giving up?'

The math teacher saw that Ralph wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Ralph! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'
Ralph quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

Ralph's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ''Yes,'' said the policeman.
''The detectives want very badly to capture him.''
Ralph asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ?"

Little Ralph attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Ralph asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Ralph, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ..... '
I think Ralph is a little bit too smart for his own good
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