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07-28-2013, 01:27 PM
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#1
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Site Team - Lou
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South Eastern PA
Posts: 23,269
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So, I was standing in line
Yesterday I was at my local Kroger buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Bella, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.
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Lou & Freya the wonder dog
2008 GMC Sierra 3000HD Allison Duramax
2019 Flagstaff 8529FL
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07-28-2013, 01:33 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,031
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Now Herk is banned from shopping at Kroger's. 
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Terry and Janet
2008 3001W Windjammer
2007 Ford F150
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07-28-2013, 01:40 PM
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#3
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MI Camperz
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 1,640
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herk7769
Yesterday I was at my local Kroger buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Bella, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.
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OMG!!!! That is the very definition of a SCREAM!!! 
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MI Camperz
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07-28-2013, 01:42 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Keller, Texas
Posts: 6,090
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Lou - it's not nice to fib a lady - thought you were a gentleman 
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07-28-2013, 01:50 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: TN
Posts: 645
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At least you didn't try to hump her leg....
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Russ & Kim
2014 Alpine 3600RS
2007 Dodge Ram 3500 5.9 4X4
2008 Harley Davidson Road King 105th Anniversary
(2011-5 bad year)(2012-40)(2013-45)(2014-23)
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07-28-2013, 01:54 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 775
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Good one! When I heard that tale, the teller got hit when he stopped in the middle of the street to lick his butt!
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Ed (N4RWU) & Becky Taylor
Mistie (Walks 4-down)
Greensboro, NC
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07-28-2013, 01:56 PM
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#7
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MI Camperz
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 1,640
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Road-King
At least you didn't try to hump her leg....
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LMAO!
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MI Camperz
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07-28-2013, 01:57 PM
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#8
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Site Team - Lou
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South Eastern PA
Posts: 23,269
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Man, clean it up for the Forum and look what happens... 
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Lou & Freya the wonder dog
2008 GMC Sierra 3000HD Allison Duramax
2019 Flagstaff 8529FL
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07-28-2013, 02:04 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Keller, Texas
Posts: 6,090
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herk7769
Man, clean it up for the Forum and look what happens... |
Looks like the mods have more work to do
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07-28-2013, 02:30 PM
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#10
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Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 17
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That was funny loved it!
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07-28-2013, 02:46 PM
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#11
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Mod free 5er
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Concord, NC
Posts: 24,702
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We'll definitely have to get a moderator involved if he starts howling at the moon or scratching his head with his foot. We'll have to keep an eye on him at Goshen
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07-28-2013, 02:48 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Eastern PA
Posts: 881
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"I don't care who you are, that was funny right there!"
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2011 PrimeTime Tracer 2600rls
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07-28-2013, 03:19 PM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Keller, Texas
Posts: 6,090
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OldCoot
We'll definitely have to get a moderator involved if he starts howling at the moon or scratching his head with his foot. We'll have to keep an eye on him at Goshen |
And you're just the right man fot the job - between him and Turbo you are going to be a busy guy there.
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07-28-2013, 03:44 PM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 9,904
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__________________
2005 Dodge 3500 Cummins
2017 Wildwood Lodge 4092 BFL
1966 Mustang GT
1986 Mustang SVO
Lillie Spoiled Rotten Boxer Mix
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