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Old 12-16-2013, 08:25 AM   #1
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Society is DOOMED

New sign at Wal-Mart

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Our society is doomed..............

IDIOT SIGHTING

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please"

She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....


IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS


IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.


IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City



IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


IDIOT SIGHTING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less.



IDIOT SIGHTING
How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha".
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us......and they VOTE.
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Old 12-16-2013, 08:34 AM   #2
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I don't usually visit the jokes section.... but these are truly hilarious!

hi·lar·i·ous
həˈle(ə)rēəs/
adjective
adjective: hilarious
1.
extremely amusing.
"a hilarious dialogue from characters we never meet again"
synonyms:very funny, hysterically funny, hysterical, uproarious, riotous, rollicking, farcical, rib-tickling;
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Old 12-16-2013, 08:36 AM   #3
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Wow! And these people breed.
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Old 12-16-2013, 08:59 AM   #4
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Funny stuff....thanks for posting.
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Old 12-16-2013, 09:18 AM   #5
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Regarding the Wal Mart 15 items limit sign, before our local Kroger store underwent a remodeling, they had the same sign.

After the remodeling,that sign was replaced with a "About 15 items" sign at their express lanes.

I thought that was a little "softer" than the hard 15 items sign.
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Old 12-16-2013, 09:52 AM   #6
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This all just goes to show common sense isn't as common as it used to be. Not to mention you can't buy it at Wal-Mart anymore!!!!!
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Old 12-16-2013, 10:09 AM   #7
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A few years back when the kids were young we went to a McDonalds near DC & asked for our sons usual a plain Cheeseburger......... We got it & sat down
It had NO cheese.......... took it back to the counter .........asked why......

The young clerk said....That is a plain cheeseburger (It has no cheese....) I could not help myself.... I asked then what is a plain hamburger .........just the bun?????????

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Old 12-16-2013, 10:13 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oaklevel View Post
A few years back when the kids were young we went to a McDonalds near DC & asked for our sons usual a plain Cheeseburger......... We got it & sat down
It had NO cheese.......... took it back to the counter .........asked why......

The young clerk said....That is a plain cheeseburger (It has no cheese....) I could not help myself.... I asked then what is a plain hamburger .........just the bun?????????

And these are people are our future!!! There is no way this is going to turn out well.
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Old 12-16-2013, 10:16 AM   #9
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I'm having some deja vu all over again.

Joke - They walk among us - Urban Legends
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Old 12-16-2013, 10:18 AM   #10
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It must be something with McDonalds. I believe they do an IQ test and if you score to high you can't work there. You are over qualified.

My DW and I do enjoy their sweet tea. We always order four large sweet teas...... two of them with no ice!!! They always have to inform us which ones are the ones without ice either by marking them or telling us!!!! I always want to tell them thanks for telling us we would never have figured that out if they hadn't!!!!
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