Speed...

[Hogrydr]

A Texas senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-30, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Texas State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.



Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard--I'll let you go."




The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Texas State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."


"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.

[rthrbelsewhere]

Thats a good one!
Thanks for the laugh!!!

[tlmg_camping]

A man has been marooned on a desert island for 6 months. One day he sees a black spot on the horizon. As it get closer & closer he realizes that it's swimmer. As the swimmer surfaces and walks up on the beach, he is stunned to find that it is a striking blonde woman in a skin-tight black wetsuit.


She asks him "when was the last time you had a good cuban cigar?". Still in awe, he responds "at least 6 months miss". With that she unzips the wetsuit to the middle of her chest, reaches in, and pulls out the finest Cuban cigar and lights it for him.

She then asks "when was the last time you had a glass of scotch?". While enjoying his cigar he replies "again miss, at least 6 months". With that she unzips the wetsuit to her navel and pulls out a flask of the finest single-malt.

She then asked "when was the last time you played around?". With that, his eyes opened wide and he replied, astonished, "don't tell me you've got a set of clubs in there too!".