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Old 12-18-2013, 01:06 PM   #1
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Tear Jerker Christmas Story

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.


When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.


Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a glass of cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the rum.


In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.


Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'


And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Not a lot of people know this.
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Old 12-18-2013, 01:09 PM   #2
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Good one. Hadn't heard it.
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Old 12-18-2013, 01:17 PM   #3
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Ouch - that had to hurt!
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Old 12-18-2013, 01:40 PM   #4
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OOOOOOHHH!! Good one.
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Old 12-18-2013, 02:39 PM   #5
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When I read the title to this, I didn't realize it was in the joke section and thought it was going to be a story like happened to me a few years ago.

If you really don't want to cry, then you need to stop reading this now.

Me and my daughter were going into Sears at our local mall a few years ago, a few days after Christmas. It was getting close to dark, and as we were about to go in the entrance, I could hear what I thought was a puppy dog whimpering in the bushes.

As I looked closer, I could tell it was a small child, curled up and crying. My daughter and I were very worried about this little boy and asked him where his parents where, and why was he out here all alone.

He sits up, and we could tell he was about nine years old or so. He told us that his mom had dropped him off at the mall, so he could go inside and buy Christmas gifts for him and his little brother......and showed me a hundred dollar bill he was clutching in his hand.

We got him out of the bushes, and started looking around for a security guard or police officer. It made us sick that all kinds of people had been walking by and nobody stopped to help this crying child.......and that he had been left alone like this by his mother.

AS I was fussing about his mother leaving him, this boy tells us that his mother has to work two jobs, because his dad left them. He also tells me that his mom had saved up 2 hundred dollars to buy him and his little brother Christmas gifts but she didn't get all the money till after Christmas had passed. She had dropped him off with the (2) hundred dollar bills so he could go in and buy him and his little brother some gifts they had already picked out..... but she had to run to the pharmacy to get his little brother some medicine as he was sick too.

He then states that as he was walking in the mall, some other kids (thugs is the appropriate word in my book) saw the 2 one hundred dollar bills he was carrying and came up to him and jerked one out of his hand...then pushed him down in the bushes as they ran off.

I was all kinds of PO'ed that this had happened. I was even more angry at all the people around, and nobody seemed to care or even notice this child. I asked him if he had yelled for help. He said he did.

I asked how loud did he yell (again mad that nobody stopped to help him). He then showed me how loud he yelled, and it was very meek. It was obvious that nobody really could have heard him yell for help. So, I grabbed his other hundred and pushed him back in the bushes.
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Old 12-18-2013, 02:43 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire View Post
When I read the title to this, I didn't realize it was in the joke section and thought it was going to be a story like happened to me a few years ago.

If you really don't want to cry, then you need to stop reading this now.

Me and my daughter were going into Sears at our local mall a few years ago, a few days after Christmas. It was getting close to dark, and as we were about to go in the entrance, I could hear what I thought was a puppy dog whimpering in the bushes.

As I looked closer, I could tell it was a small child, curled up and crying. My daughter and I were very worried about this little boy and asked him where his parents where, and why was he out here all alone.

He sits up, and we could tell he was about nine years old or so. He told us that his mom had dropped him off at the mall, so he could go inside and buy Christmas gifts for him and his little brother......and showed me a hundred dollar bill he was clutching in his hand.

We got him out of the bushes, and started looking around for a security guard or police officer. It made us sick that all kinds of people had been walking by and nobody stopped to help this crying child.......and that he had been left alone like this by his mother.

AS I was fussing about his mother leaving him, this boy tells us that his mother has to work two jobs, because his dad left them. He also tells me that his mom had saved up 2 hundred dollars to buy him and his little brother Christmas gifts but she didn't get all the money till after Christmas had passed. She had dropped him off with the (2) hundred dollar bills so he could go in and buy him and his little brother some gifts they had already picked out, but had to run to the pharmacy to get his little brother some medicine as he was sick too.

He then states that as he was walking in the mall, some other kids (thugs is the appropriate word in my book) saw the 2 one hundred dollar bills he was carrying and came up to him and jerked one out of his hand...then pushed him down in the bushes as they ran off.

I was all kinds of PO'ed that this had happened. I was even more angry at all the people around, and nobody seemed to care or even notice this child. I asked him if he had yelled for help. He said he did.

I asked how loud did he yell (again mad that nobody stopped to help him). He then showed me how loud he yelled, and it was very meek. It was obvious that nobody really could have heard him yell for help. So, I grabbed his other hundred and pushed him back in the bushes.

Didn't see that coming.
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Old 12-18-2013, 03:05 PM   #7
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Didn't see that coming.
I hope Lou doesn't mind, but what really sells it is the proper lead-in, as with his OP joke title.

It's even better to tell it to others in person. I had my ex mother-in-law almost in tears the first time I told it to her. It's also good to have my daughter with me, as she gives it a level of credibility.....since most friends/family know I'm full of BS when telling them anything, and are on the defensive.
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Old 12-18-2013, 03:11 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire View Post
When I read the title to this, I didn't realize it was in the joke section and thought it was going to be a story like happened to me a few years ago.

If you really don't want to cry, then you need to stop reading this now.

Me and my daughter were going into Sears at our local mall a few years ago, a few days after Christmas. It was getting close to dark, and as we were about to go in the entrance, I could hear what I thought was a puppy dog whimpering in the bushes.

As I looked closer, I could tell it was a small child, curled up and crying. My daughter and I were very worried about this little boy and asked him where his parents where, and why was he out here all alone.

He sits up, and we could tell he was about nine years old or so. He told us that his mom had dropped him off at the mall, so he could go inside and buy Christmas gifts for him and his little brother......and showed me a hundred dollar bill he was clutching in his hand.

We got him out of the bushes, and started looking around for a security guard or police officer. It made us sick that all kinds of people had been walking by and nobody stopped to help this crying child.......and that he had been left alone like this by his mother.

AS I was fussing about his mother leaving him, this boy tells us that his mother has to work two jobs, because his dad left them. He also tells me that his mom had saved up 2 hundred dollars to buy him and his little brother Christmas gifts but she didn't get all the money till after Christmas had passed. She had dropped him off with the (2) hundred dollar bills so he could go in and buy him and his little brother some gifts they had already picked out..... but she had to run to the pharmacy to get his little brother some medicine as he was sick too.

He then states that as he was walking in the mall, some other kids (thugs is the appropriate word in my book) saw the 2 one hundred dollar bills he was carrying and came up to him and jerked one out of his hand...then pushed him down in the bushes as they ran off.

I was all kinds of PO'ed that this had happened. I was even more angry at all the people around, and nobody seemed to care or even notice this child. I asked him if he had yelled for help. He said he did.

I asked how loud did he yell (again mad that nobody stopped to help him). He then showed me how loud he yelled, and it was very meek. It was obvious that nobody really could have heard him yell for help. So, I grabbed his other hundred and pushed him back in the bushes.
You have all the luck. I could sure use $100. No malls where I live though mad!
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Old 12-18-2013, 03:28 PM   #9
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Didn't see that coming.
X2. I chuckled.
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Old 12-18-2013, 04:00 PM   #10
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Similar to the bologna story.
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