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Old 05-18-2015, 09:19 AM   #1
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Location: Komoka Ontario
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Tech Support

The thing people say and do.


ANOTHER CHAPTER OF "THEY WALK AMONG US AND REPRODUCE!! Actual call center conversations!
Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through;
can you help?'
Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'
Samsung Electronics

Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller: ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that

I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and

telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the
number for Jack?’

Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'

RAC Motoring Services

Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
traveling in Australia ?'
Operator: 'Does the policy name give you a clue?'

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England,
do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

Directory Enquiries

Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes.. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland ....'

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: 'OK.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can

you see the 'OK' button displayed?'

Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it.
So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department..............
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.' Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect ..'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Opera tor: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall..
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No...'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't..'
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and

packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it

up just like it was when you got it.

Then take it back to
the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'

"Well that didn't go as expected"
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Old 05-18-2015, 09:43 AM   #2
(Dry Huunday)
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Old 05-18-2015, 09:53 AM   #3
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Good stuff!
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Old 05-18-2015, 10:04 AM   #4
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LOL Thanks Donald!!
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Old 05-18-2015, 01:56 PM   #5
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While attending college I would at a incoming call center for a large bank. Normally taking loan applications and forwarding them to the loan officers. One November a lady calls and wants a $3000 loan for Christmas time to buy the kids presents. I said ok, a few questions for you.

Me - Where do you work
Her - I don't work
Me - OK, Where does your spouse work?
Her - I don't have one.
Me - Do you get alimony or some sort of income?
Her - No
Me - If you don't have any income how are you going to pay the loan back?
Her - "I have no intention of paying it back......."
Me - Sorry you've been disapproved.
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Old 05-18-2015, 10:26 PM   #6
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Not only do they walk among us and reproduce. they also vote.
John & Reina
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Old 05-19-2015, 08:31 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by jandrpearson View Post
Not only do they walk among us and reproduce. they also vote.
2 or more times each....
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Old 05-20-2015, 06:14 PM   #8
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When i did deskside support, it was fun but weird sometimes. The whle windows directory copied to the desktop, monitors caked in banana stickers or surrounded with stacks of paper as high as rhe top of the screen.
One call was for a pc with an odd intermittent vibration. After fifteen minutes, I realized it was a pager locked in the desk under the "CPU."

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