tech support for a happy home life

[Platokidd]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

[rana]

And of course... no returns are accepted once you break the seal on the original software packaging... and there is no additional tech support options available for purchase past the initial 30-second trial period....

[Arefbee]

No one ever reads the EUL or the Manual!
(*sigh*)
Just remember, a properly maintained system will serve you long into old age.
Otherwise, if the user encounters a Coma 1.x virus, the security system may choose to pull the plug and pursue a system reboot rather than correcting what could have been a relatively minor issue.

(BTW, the Secretary in short skirt add-on has been discontinued in most markets since it always includes many issues that will lead to a lot of costly general protection faults. On higher powered systems it has been replaced by Senior Administrative Assistant, a far more efficient program which includes a lot of predictive analysis elements.)

One of the most successful aftermarket upgrade add-on apps these days are Go-Camping-Lots v8.0 as well as Go-Somewhere-Warm v7.3 (with all RUM service packs). The system maintenance and resource refreshment benefits of both apps have been well regarded for a long time now and can improve resource effectiveness many times over.