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Old 05-07-2013, 05:46 PM   #1
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Text from Wife

Wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are
laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a
bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying,
send me your tears. I love you!"

The husband, typically non-romantic, replied,


I am on the toilet. Please advise."
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Old 05-07-2013, 05:52 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oakman View Post
Wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are
laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a
bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying,
send me your tears. I love you!"

The husband, typically non-romantic, replied,

“I am on the toilet. Please advise."

Yep!
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:04 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oakman View Post
Wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are
laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a
bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying,
send me your tears. I love you!"

The husband, typically non-romantic, replied,


I am on the toilet. Please advise."
And if you are with another woman, send me your checkbook
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:28 PM   #4
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We seniors often receive warnings about protecting ourselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc.
A 'heads up' for those older men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, or Costco customers. This one really caught me by surprise. 

Over the last few months, we have been spending a lot of time at Home Depot and Costco buying materials associated with our recent travel trailer purchase.
I recently became a victim of this clever scam while out buying some needed supplies. Simply going out to get supplies like this has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you. Here’s how the scam works:


Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your items into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their tops almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is almost impossible not to look. 
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds. If you agree, they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. 

I had my wallet stolen This past April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th & 24th and three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend. 

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant. 

By the way, Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for$1.99 at K- Mart and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Costco. 


Be careful out there.
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:28 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by B47 View Post
And if you are with another woman, send me your checkbook
And the keys to the house, car, camper, safe deposit box and all credit cards
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:31 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canonman View Post
We seniors often receive warnings about protecting ourselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc.
A 'heads up' for those older men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, or Costco customers. This one really caught me by surprise. 

Over the last few months, we have been spending a lot of time at Home Depot and Costco buying materials associated with our recent travel trailer purchase.
I recently became a victim of this clever scam while out buying some needed supplies. Simply going out to get supplies like this has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you. Heres how the scam works:


Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your items into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their tops almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is almost impossible not to look. 
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds. If you agree, they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. 

I had my wallet stolen This past April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th & 24th and three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend. 

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant. 

By the way, Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for$1.99 at K- Mart and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Costco. 


Be careful out there.
I know about this scam!
(Oh, FYI; K-Mart no longer stocks those $1.99 wallets...)
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:32 PM   #7
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And the keys to the house, car, camper, safe deposit box and all credit cards
yeah and all that too.
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:35 PM   #8
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Lou - if you need more wallets, Dollar General still has some
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:45 PM   #9
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Both very funny jokes!! Love 'em!!
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Old 05-07-2013, 07:07 PM   #10
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Those were good!!
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