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05-07-2013, 04:46 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Jefferson County, MO
Posts: 5,452
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Text from Wife
Wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are
laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a
bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying,
send me your tears. I love you!"
The husband, typically non-romantic, replied,
“I am on the toilet. Please advise."
__________________
Bob and Joyce
2013 CC Silverback 29RL
2010 Ford F250 XL Crew Cab 6.4 liter diesel
ATU Local 788
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05-07-2013, 04:52 PM
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#2
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Phat Phrog Stunt Team
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 34,507
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oakman
Wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are
laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a
bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying,
send me your tears. I love you!"
The husband, typically non-romantic, replied,
“I am on the toilet. Please advise."
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Yep!
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05-07-2013, 05:04 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Keller, Texas
Posts: 6,090
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oakman
Wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are
laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a
bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying,
send me your tears. I love you!"
The husband, typically non-romantic, replied,
“I am on the toilet. Please advise."
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And if you are with another woman, send me your checkbook 
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05-07-2013, 05:28 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Jordan, Utah
Posts: 349
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We seniors often receive warnings about protecting ourselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc.
A 'heads up' for those older men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, or Costco customers. This one really caught me by surprise.
Over the last few months, we have been spending a lot of time at Home Depot and Costco buying materials associated with our recent travel trailer purchase.
I recently became a victim of this clever scam while out buying some needed supplies. Simply going out to get supplies like this has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you. Here’s how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your items into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their tops almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is almost impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds. If you agree, they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen This past April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th & 24th and three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.
By the way, Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for$1.99 at K- Mart and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Costco.
Be careful out there.
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05-07-2013, 05:28 PM
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#5
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PPST OGCDG
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Between I-95 & The Great Dismal Swamp
Posts: 2,163
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Quote:
Originally Posted by B47
And if you are with another woman, send me your checkbook |
And the keys to the house, car, camper, safe deposit box and all credit cards 
__________________
Frank- VA {:-{)
2004 4x4 Ford 6.0 PS, SCC, SB
2005 Wildcat 29 RLBS
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05-07-2013, 05:31 PM
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#6
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Site Team - Lou
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South Eastern PA
Posts: 23,269
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canonman
We seniors often receive warnings about protecting ourselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc.
A 'heads up' for those older men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, or Costco customers. This one really caught me by surprise.
Over the last few months, we have been spending a lot of time at Home Depot and Costco buying materials associated with our recent travel trailer purchase.
I recently became a victim of this clever scam while out buying some needed supplies. Simply going out to get supplies like this has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you. Here’s how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your items into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their tops almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is almost impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds. If you agree, they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen This past April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th & 24th and three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.
By the way, Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for$1.99 at K- Mart and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Costco.
Be careful out there.
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I know about this scam!
(Oh, FYI; K-Mart no longer stocks those $1.99 wallets...)
__________________
Lou & Freya the wonder dog
2008 GMC Sierra 3000HD Allison Duramax
2019 Flagstaff 8529FL
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05-07-2013, 05:32 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Keller, Texas
Posts: 6,090
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frank-VA
And the keys to the house, car, camper, safe deposit box and all credit cards |
yeah and all that too. 
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05-07-2013, 05:35 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Keller, Texas
Posts: 6,090
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Lou - if you need more wallets, Dollar General still has some 
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05-07-2013, 05:45 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Long Island (Nassau County), NY
Posts: 4,352
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Both very funny jokes!! Love 'em!!
__________________
Tom and Margaret
2014 Berkshire 390bh-60
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05-07-2013, 06:07 PM
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#10
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Southeast Utah
Posts: 1,157
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Those were good!!
__________________
Shane & Antoinette
2012 Ford F-450 SuperDuty
2013 Crusader 355BHQ
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05-07-2013, 06:20 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 702
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Rofl
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05-07-2013, 06:20 PM
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#12
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Now a "Top Member"
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Roman Forest, TX
Posts: 4,347
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Hialarious!
__________________
Ed and Sharon
2010 Wildcat 28RKBS
2019 Ford F-250 XLT - AWESOME Truck!
Retired AF MSgt
I thought I was wrong once, but I was wrong!
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05-07-2013, 08:55 PM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 239
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well gee thanks. i'm in the doghouse now. i repeated this joke to my wife and got the dreaded eyeroll . i love it!!!! . that's something she expects after 25 yrs of marriage. 
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05-07-2013, 09:21 PM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Stromsburg, Nebraska
Posts: 1,682
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Both great jokes, er stories I guess. Even the DW laughed out loud!
Gotta go, home depot closes in 9 minutes!
__________________
Joel and Teresa
2016 Sabre 34TBOK
2006 GMC 3500 CC LB DRW 4X4
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05-08-2013, 08:21 PM
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#15
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Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oakman
Wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are
laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a
bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying,
send me your tears. I love you!"
The husband, typically non-romantic, replied,
“I am on the toilet. Please advise."
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Xxxx
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06-26-2013, 10:53 AM
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#16
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MI Camperz
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 1,640
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Excellent. Both of them. Ty!
__________________
MI Camperz
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