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Old 12-22-2010, 08:09 AM   #11
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Man, y'all are killing me here. You are keeping me busy copying and pasting to my email so I can forward these on.
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Old 12-22-2010, 11:38 AM   #12
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OK, one more

I think this is good advice for finding inner peace, especially in this busy time...

CALMNESS IN OUR LIVES

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Valium prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, a box of chocolates, and a half bottle of scotch.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.
Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.
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Old 12-22-2010, 03:58 PM   #13
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I received this email from my son;

PONDERISMS
1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
2. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
3. Life is sexually transmitted.
4. Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
5. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
7. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
10. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
11. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'?
13. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
14. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
15. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
16. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
17. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
18. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
19. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
20. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address
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Old 12-22-2010, 07:00 PM   #14
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This thread is headed for the Black Tank

Now that is just tasteless.

There are plenty of really funny jokes that do not make you laugh at someone else's expense. Life itself provides some of the most hilarious material going and RV'ers drink life in huge gulps. If no one minds I would like to take the handicapped and ethnic attempts at humor off this thread.

Too many of my friends have been seriously injured in this war for me not to take offense. I gave it 24 hours to see if I cooled down, but I find I have not. So, at the the expense of the posters being offended I thought I should explain my reason for deleting those posts.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to us all.
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