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Old 02-08-2011, 03:54 PM   #1
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Location: Virginia Blue Ridge Foothills
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Traffic Stop

>Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
>Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
>Woman: Oh, I see.
>Officer: Can I see your license please?
>Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
>Officer: Don't have one?
>Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
>Officer: I see... Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
>Woman: I can't do that.
>Officer: Why not?
>Woman: I stole this car.
>Officer: Stole it?
>Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
>Officer: You what?
>Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
>The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls
>for back up.
>Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
>A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
>Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman
>steps out of her vehicle.
>Woman: Is there a problem sir?
>Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
>murdered the owner.
>Woman: Murdered the owner?
>Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
>The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
>Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
>Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
>The officer is quite stunned.
>Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
>The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it
>to the officer.
>The officer snaps opens the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks
>quite puzzled.
>Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a
>license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the
>Woman: I bet that liar told you I was speeding, too.


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Old 02-08-2011, 04:58 PM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Merrillan wisconsin
Posts: 75

thanks for the laugh

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Old 02-08-2011, 07:15 PM   #3
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Location: Vacaville Ca
Posts: 32
good one
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Old 02-09-2011, 09:16 AM   #4
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Old 02-09-2011, 09:32 AM   #5
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Very funny!!!
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Old 04-14-2011, 07:26 AM   #6
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 46
A woman get pulled over for speeding and the state trooper is trying to make small talk with her.
Officer: So why were you speeding?
Lady: Just running late for work.
Officer: What is it you do anyway?
Lady: I'm a rectum stretcher.
Officer: A rectum stretcher?!?! What's that?
Lady: Well you take a rectum and start with one finger. You work it around till you can use 2 fingers, then 3. You keep this up till you have a 6ft rectum.
Officer: Wow, that's amazing. What do you do with a 6ft a@#hole anyway?
Lady: You put a hat on it and call it a state trooper!

I don't mean this to offend any officers, just thought is was funny


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