OK, let me educate some of you Yankees on how to speak 'proper' Southern..
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother
bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My
brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
HOT-LANTA- noun. The capitol of Jawjuh.
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from
him in munts."
IGNERT - adjective
. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni." Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A
boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother
from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup
truck, that things gonna catch far."
BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to
work, your bahs is gonna far you!"
TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar
in my pickup truck."
TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that
Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime
."
HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.
HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."
RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."
TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege
.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."
LOT - adjective
. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."
FARN - adjective
. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn
country."
DID - adjective
. Not alive
.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). Usage: "He
can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"
BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable
.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence
."
JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently
toured the University of Alabama?"
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."
SEED - verb, past tense
.
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"
HEAVY DEW - phrase
. A request for action. Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a
favor?"
GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Great ...
ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"