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Old 10-30-2014, 10:41 AM   #1
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What they don't teach in physics

# 14 is my favorite


They Don't Teach in Physics:

1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3.
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5.
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6.
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7.
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

9.
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10
.Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11.
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12.
Murphy's= Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13.
Law of Physical Surfaces -
The chances of an open- faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14.
Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

15.
Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16.
Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

17.
Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18.
Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.


If you don't forward this to your friends, your belly button will unscrew. Really... It's true. I read it on the Internet!

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Old 10-30-2014, 12:41 PM   #2
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Add to the list:
Law of Sound - That funny noise your vehicle is making will mysteriously disappear when you drive into the service department.
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Old 10-30-2014, 01:27 PM   #3
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How about these...
MURPHY'S OTHER LAWS...


1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. The shinbone is a device for finding Furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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Old 10-30-2014, 04:09 PM   #4
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Number 1) your cell phone rings

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Old 10-30-2014, 04:13 PM   #5
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These are great! I love them all. This is great stuff!
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Old 11-12-2014, 09:25 AM   #6
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Gasman, the problem with #10 is that you end up with two right (or left) shoes.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Old 11-12-2014, 09:38 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by F.R.O.G. View Post
Gasman, the problem with #10 is that you end up with two right (or left) shoes.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Lol

TURBS. :ROFLBLACK:
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Old 11-12-2014, 09:52 AM   #8
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Murphy was an Optimist...
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