You may live in Canada

BC Boy · 02-15-2013, 02:16 PM

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canadians;
during a recent appearance at Caesars in Windsor :

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
You may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, You may live in Canada ..

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, You may live in Canada .

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere South of Detroit for the weekend, You may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours, You may live in Canada .

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, You may live in Canada .

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, You may live in Canada .

If you install security lights on your house and garage,
but leave both unlocked, You may live in Canada .

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, You may live in Canada .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada .

If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km -- you're going 95 and everybody is passing you, You may live in Canada .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You may live in Canada .

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction, You may live in Canada .

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .

If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Canada .

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all
your friends, you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.

RVChick · 02-15-2013, 03:08 PM

Those are great!! LOVE our northern neighbors!! My mom is a goofy Newf....and I still have an Uncle living in Toronto!!

DDC · 02-15-2013, 03:51 PM

More Canadian Humour

2 Crocodiles sitting on the bank of the Ottawa River,
the smaller croc says to the bigger 1, "I can't understand how
you can be so much bigger than me, we are the same age, we were the same size as kids...I just don't get it?"
"Well, what have you been eating?" says the big croc
"Politicians, same as you." says the small croc
"Hmm...well, where do you catch them?" (big croc)
"Over in the parking lot by the Parliament Buildings." (small croc)
""Same here, Hmm, how do you catch them?" (big croc)
"Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars & wait for 1 to
unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab 'em by the leg, shake
the livin crap out of 'em, & I eat 'em!" (small croc)
"Aha" says the big croc, "I think I see your problem, you're not
getting any nourishment - you see, by the time your done shaking the crap out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an A**hole & a
briefcase!"

timarti · 02-15-2013, 05:43 PM

All true! Still winter, just dug out again. Never mind, driving down the backroads covered with pristine snow makes my heart happy. So glad to have escaped city life for the northern border of Algonquin Park! There is actually one campground at the south end of the park that is open all winter with hydro. If I had a motorhome instead of a trailer, I would be tempted!