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05-04-2013, 09:11 AM
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#21
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,958
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I think it would be important to define a yankee, so we make sure to target the humor towards them.
Definition of a Yankee or Northerner – What is a Yankee?
The term yankee or northerner refers to people who live in the northeastern part of the United States. New Englander is another name for them but not often used due to its lack of offensiveness. Yankees do not include people west of Minnesota even though they are in the northern United States.
Besides participating in the war of northern aggression, yankees can be identified by a few distinct characteristics. These are as follows:
Anger – Yankees seem to always be angry. They communicate this anger verbally through constant cursing but also non verbally using their car horn and middle finger. Northern anger is partly genetic due to inbreeding but it is also attributed to toxins found in both northern air, soil and water. Some say that this aggression is from the cold weather but when a yankee is relocated to a warmer climate the condition does not seem to change leading scientists to conclude that the problem is genetic. Pharmaceutical companies are currently developing medication for this condition but so far only alcohol seems to help. To be effective, alcohol must be administered in large quantities to everyone except the yankee. If given the other way around the problem just becomes worse.
Rudeness -If you see people holding the door open for others or saying thank you then you are either hallucinating or you are in the south. Southerners are famous for good food and hospitality, Westerners are famous for their pioneer spirit, Californians are famous for being laid back and Northerners are famous for being rude. If you want to be trampled at a concert, cut off in traffic, honked at, yelled at, cursed at, spit on, and ridiculed then just head north. This trait is also the reason for the unmarked graves often found along southern roadways.
Omniscience - In the north people are born knowing it all and die the same way. Again, the only explanation is bad DNA. Because they know everything they are the only ones that really need to talk. In a conversation your only job is to nod your head and grunt. Any attempt at talking on your part will be considered offensive to a yankee. They truly want to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral.
Arrogance – Possessing all knowledge inevitably leads to arrogance. Here are some things that northerners have to be proud of – high crime rates, poverty, pollution, over crowded schools, illiteracy, homelessness, and political corruption.
Greed – They say that life is all about give and take. In the south we give. In the north, they take. While the south was busy inventing refrigeration the north was busy inventing white collar crime and toll roads. Here are some facts – The 10 greediest states, starting from the bottom, were New Hampshire, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Connecticut, Minnesota, Colorado, Hawaii and Michigan. The 10 most generous states were, in descending order, Mississippi, Arkansas, South Dakota, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Alabama, Louisiana, Utah, South Carolina and West Virginia. That pretty much says it all.
These are just a few characteristics that define a true Yankee.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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05-04-2013, 10:04 AM
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#22
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Southeast
Posts: 427
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dkb74
Ha!
As a Midwesterner who has lived in the "fake south" (i.e. Florida) for 12 years, but lived in VA and married a Southerner, it's fun to have both perspectives. I definitely could relate to many of those until I moved to VA.
I still don't like grits. Unless the bacon and cheese disguises them to the point they can no longer be recognizable!
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Having lived in FL almost my entire life (born and raised outside of Tampa), I can tell you South FL is much less "Southern" than North FL. The Old South/Tropical line used to be around Tampa/Orlando. It has moved North to Ocala/Gainesville. It almost like two different states.
__________________
Chuck Roder & Family '07 Surveyor SV-235RS & '16 Chevy Silverado 2500HD (Gas) Crew Cab High Springs, FL.
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05-04-2013, 10:21 AM
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#23
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Camper Less Camping
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: NW
Posts: 3,642
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MOD Guy
Having lived in FL almost my entire life (born and raised outside of Tampa), I can tell you South FL is much less "Southern" than North FL. The Old South/Tropical line used to be around Tampa/Orlando. It has moved North to Ocala/Gainesville. It almost like two different states.
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Ain't that the truth!
__________________
2013 Sabre 32RCTS-6 (sold)
Family of 4 whose always on the GEAUX!
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05-04-2013, 10:31 AM
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#24
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: West St. Paul, Manitoba
Posts: 886
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Quote:
4. People giving directions by saying "you go east" 4 miles or "go south 4 miles and then turn south". I was used to people saying " you go right at the traffic light and then turn left"
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That's funny. No unkindness intended, we are the way we are!
__________________
Of all the things I've lost in my life the thing I miss the most is my mind!
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05-04-2013, 10:44 AM
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#25
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: West St. Paul, Manitoba
Posts: 886
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OK I give up, what are grits?
__________________
Of all the things I've lost in my life the thing I miss the most is my mind!
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05-04-2013, 10:52 AM
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#26
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Phat Phrog Stunt Team
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 34,507
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prairiecamper
OK I give up, what are grits?
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Southern cream of wheat so to speak.
Loose translation. .....
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05-04-2013, 10:54 AM
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#27
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Mod free 5er
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Concord, NC
Posts: 24,702
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prairiecamper
OK I give up, what are grits?
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Grits - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Grits refers to a ground-corn food of Native American origin, that is common in the Southern United States and mainly eaten at breakfast. Modern grits are commonly made of alkali-treated corn known as hominy.
If you travel down south, eat breakfast at a Waffle House and order grits instead of hashbrowns.
BTW, Waffle House is the best, cheapest breakfast anywhere anytime. Open 24/7
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05-04-2013, 10:59 AM
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#28
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Jack of All Trades
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Williston, Florida
Posts: 317
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Grits = Modified Wallpaper Paste.
(Genuine Yankee Here - Hoping to Become a Southern Someday, but no grits)
__________________
Rick & Debbie; Brandy Schnoodle & Bucky (Dexter & Fritz R.I.P.) the Doxie "Kids"
2015 Jayco Pinnacle 36RSQS 5'er
2018 GMC Sierra Denali 3500HD, 6.6L Diesel Dually; B&W Companion 5'er hitch
ScanGauge, TST 507 TPMS
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05-04-2013, 11:02 AM
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#29
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Mod free 5er
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Concord, NC
Posts: 24,702
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RJHuser
Grits = Modified Wallpaper Paste.
(Genuine Yankee Here - Hoping to Become a Southern Someday, but no grits)
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Oh no, RJ, and I really liked you.
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05-04-2013, 11:07 AM
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#30
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Williston ND
Posts: 353
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So I live in North Dakota, what does that make me? And yes I like grits.
__________________
Dennis and Julie
2018 Wildcat 28SGX
2013 Chevy Silverado 2500HD
2012 Chevy Silverado 2500HD
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05-04-2013, 11:07 AM
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#31
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Jack of All Trades
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Williston, Florida
Posts: 317
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I like all of ya'all too.
Just can't stand grits!
By the way, even though I'm a Yankee, I've spent a LOT of time in the south in my job. I'm envious
__________________
Rick & Debbie; Brandy Schnoodle & Bucky (Dexter & Fritz R.I.P.) the Doxie "Kids"
2015 Jayco Pinnacle 36RSQS 5'er
2018 GMC Sierra Denali 3500HD, 6.6L Diesel Dually; B&W Companion 5'er hitch
ScanGauge, TST 507 TPMS
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05-04-2013, 11:08 AM
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#32
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Phat Phrog Stunt Team
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 34,507
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OldCoot
Oh no, RJ, and I really liked you.
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Guess I hate to admit I'm a grits fan .....
I guess you can still pretend to like me then.
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05-04-2013, 11:09 AM
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#33
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Mod free 5er
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Concord, NC
Posts: 24,702
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis and Julie
So I live in North Dakota, what does that make me? And yes I like grits.
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You are considered a Reb.
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05-04-2013, 11:12 AM
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#34
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Mod free 5er
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Concord, NC
Posts: 24,702
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RJHuser
I like all of ya'all too.
Just can't stand grits!
By the way, even though I'm a Yankee, I've spent a LOT of time in the south in my job. I'm envious
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Well, maybe, but it's ya'll, not ya'all.
Keep trying 'em, they are an acquired taste. Salt, pepper, butter or just with sugar.
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05-04-2013, 11:13 AM
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#35
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Jack of All Trades
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Williston, Florida
Posts: 317
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Darn -need to proofread what I type
__________________
Rick & Debbie; Brandy Schnoodle & Bucky (Dexter & Fritz R.I.P.) the Doxie "Kids"
2015 Jayco Pinnacle 36RSQS 5'er
2018 GMC Sierra Denali 3500HD, 6.6L Diesel Dually; B&W Companion 5'er hitch
ScanGauge, TST 507 TPMS
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05-04-2013, 11:20 AM
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#36
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Phat Phrog Stunt Team
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 34,507
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OldCoot
Well, maybe, but it's ya'll, not ya'all.
Keep trying 'em, they are an acquired taste. Salt, pepper, butter or just with sugar.
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Sugar and butter.
By the way total sweet tea fan to.
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05-04-2013, 11:42 AM
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#37
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MI Camperz
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 1,640
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[QUOTE=wmtire;366889]
You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
Does a Yorkie-Poo count?
Just wondering how else are they going to stay warm in the winter?
__________________
MI Camperz
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05-04-2013, 11:56 AM
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#38
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Mod free 5er
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Concord, NC
Posts: 24,702
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[QUOTE=bodzcampers;367473]
Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
Does a Yorkie-Poo count?
Just wondering how else are they going to stay warm in the winter?
Attachment 29574
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Counts the same as a poodle, southern dogs come with ready made coats and have never asked for any man-made covers.
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05-04-2013, 12:13 PM
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#39
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MI Camperz
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 1,640
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If "I do declare" means you're paying an import tax.
If "Fixing" means repairing, not preparing.
If your extended family are relatives, not kin folk.
If wreckin' means ruining or breaking, not guessing or supposing.
If you serve potatoes, not taters.
Sugar is an ingredient, not a pronoun.
If your blue jeans don't have bibs.
If your household water has fluoride, and you have teeth past 40 years old to prove it. (Which, btw, inhibits the spit reflex.)
If moon shine is a reflection on a lake.
If whiskey comes from Canada or Scotland, not your grandma's outbuilding.
__________________
MI Camperz
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05-04-2013, 12:19 PM
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#40
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MI Camperz
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 1,640
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[QUOTE=OldCoot;367481]
Quote:
Originally Posted by bodzcampers
Counts the same as a poodle, southern dogs come with ready made coats and have never asked for any man-made covers.
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Well they might ask if it ever got cold. LOL
__________________
MI Camperz
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